Scraps, Bunnies and Bits
by SLYSWN
Summary: Welcome to SLY's mini-mountain of unfinished fics
1. Chapter 1

**It seems to happen to every fanfic author at one point or another…so many plot bunnies…so little time…or writers block or a number of other reasons of why certain stories/ideas never get completed…I can't speak for any one but my self I have a wild, non-stop imagination which sometimes can get the best and worst of me…anyway here's my collection of Scraps, Bunnies and Bits**

I call SLY's mini-mountain of unfinished fics

Fandoms include: Naruto, BLEACH, ES21, Prince of Tennis

Pairings definite/hinted/implied/past: Too many too list

**Alright lets get to it….NARUTO FICS ARE UP FIRST!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I wrote this some years ago…how many? I have no idea. It was never finished…hell never even made it past the double prologues. **

**()()**

**Disclaimer: No pregnant moms or babies were harmed in the making of this fic. And yes it is in fact fan fiction.**

**Rating: T for now, may go up, don't know though**

**Summary: The title pretty much says it all, it's a story about the ups and downs for Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. Whether or not the two boys actually get together somewhere a long the way well you'll just have to read and find out.**

**The UPS and DOWNS of HAVING a LAST name **

**Starting with THE letter U**

**Sometimes being a bastard is A-OK**

**Prologue A**

**It was a Friday morning. Friday mornings were something to look forward to for most people, but Uchiha Sasuke wasn't like most people.**

**And as far as the 16 year old boy was concerned, Fridays outright sucked! **

**Because unfortunately for him, Fridays meant stalkers (aka fangirls). Fridays meant sitting through aggravating half-hearted conversations with his older brother. **

**Fridays meant putting up with guidance counselors breathing down his neck about whether or not he'd given his college applications more thought. **

**Fridays meant putting up with the most annoying **_**thing**_** he'd ever had the displeasure of meeting. Then again he had to put up that thing every day, so let's rewind and say everyday was a bad day for one Uchiha Sasuke. **

**But Fridays were by far the worst.**

**A shrill, slightly nasally voice pierced through the once peaceful living space at that very moment "'SASUKE!"**

**That thing was actually a she. And that she also happened to be mother of his unborn child. And as much as Sasuke hated the girl, he could never, would never abandon his own flesh and blood!**

**It wasn't the Uchiha way. Plain and Simple.**

**According to his roommates, Jugo and Suigetsu, it was actually quite funny how he'd hooked up with the girl. **

_**It had been during a house party sometime last spring. And like all good parties dancing and drinking seemed to be the thing to do. **__**Never mind**____**that he and everyone around him was underage.**__** When you were born with the last name Uchiha, those kind of silly rules just didn't matter. Not to mention we're getting completely off the track here, so back to case and point. **_

**Since Sasuke wasn't much of dancer, drinking was pretty much all he had wound up doing that night. **

**And sometime around the 15****th**** or 16****th**** case of beer he'd also kissed a lamp post, jerked off in front of the crowd, danced naked in the rain and declared his undying love to**_** that**_** girl all on the very same night.**

**So now he was pretty much stuck with her, or at least until she gave birth. After that, well perhaps he could dump her off on to his doppelganger, the boy who went by the name of Sai. **

"**SASUKE-KUN, I THINK MY WATER BROKE!"**

"**Ah Karin give it a rest already will ya? You're still a good three weeks away before you bring the little demon shit into the world."****  
><strong>

"**Don't talk about my little baby girl like that Suigetsu or else I'll make Jugo the godfather instead of y—hey what are you doing with th-."**

_**CRASH!**_

**Suigetsu cackled evilly "Oh poor wittle baby, did I scare you?**

**Sasuke let out a resigned sigh, **_**'I guess I'd better get in there and stop him before he actually succeeds in strangling her this time. After all I'm going to need to keep her around for at least a year or two for breast-feeding and whatever else women are useful for.'**_

"**Sasuke-kun Sui is being mean to me and he's scaring Tulip."**

**The raven-haired boy raised a brow at the name **_**'Tulip?'**_** shaking his head, he continued towards the bedroom.**

**8&5&6**

"**Karin, should I even ask why you are sitting in Suigetsu's lap and letting him draw upside down flowery designs on your stomach with grape scented marker right now?"**

**End of Prologue A**

**LOL**

**Yeah who knows where my brain was when I wrote this?**

**()()()**


	3. Chapter 3

**Rating: T for now, may go up, don't know though**

**Summary: The title pretty much says it all; it's a story about the ups and downs for Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. Whether or not the two boys actually get together somewhere a long the way well you'll just have to read and find out.**

**Category/s: Erm I don't know I chose comedy, but there will also probably romance, drama, angst and other stuff, so a whole mish-mosh of stuff.**

**The UPS and DOWNS or HAVING **

**a LAST name Starting with THE letter U**

**00 ****Will you be having the steak or chicken sir?**

**Prologue B**

"**Ow oooh that feels so good, yeah right there, that's the spot, wait a little lower, a little to the right and oooh perfect." A head of blond hair looked over a perfectly tanned shoulder and grinned up at his larger friend "You really should get paid for this kind of thing Chouji, I just think if I had a dollar to hand over for every time you made me feel this good, you'd be freakin' rich."**

"**Nah it's nothing special, I'm just following the same steps I watched my mom do over a hundred times with various clients here and there throughout the years."**

**The blond sat up and smiled serenely when the trace of pain was no longer present. **

**He still couldn't believe had done such an idiotic thing as pull his back out earlier that same morning while helping his old man lift dry wall off the company truck.**

**In all fairness, it hadn't entirely been his fault, no it was just as much Kyuubi's fault as it was his, if not more so. **

**Damn that bastard cousin of his, he just had to be off somewhere on the high seas foolin' around with his air-headed girlfriend Katsuyu and her annoying half-brother Manda. Off having the time of his life while Naruto was stuck with attending school, track meetings and watching his crush from a far. **

**Of course you're probably asking yourselves just how the hell this all ties in with the general topic of Kyuubi being at fault here and so I will tell you.**

**You see Naruto was short for his age; he had a narrow waist, hips and shoulders. His body type just wasn't cut out for lifting heavy objects, unlike Kyuubi.**

**But as previously stated, Kyuubi hadn't been around and so it had been up to him and as usual, the young blond had paid the price for it.**

"**Oh stop being so modest Chouji, everyone knows that you have a magic fingers, why else do you think Tsunade baa-chan took you on as her apprentice and tossed Sakura-chan over to that closet sadist."**

**Chouji let out a chuckle at the younger boys' comment "Orochimaru-san isn't that bad Naruto."**

"**Yeah well he isn't that good either, I swear to this day I'll never get over the fact that he and my brother had a **_**thing**_** back when Pein was still in his junior year of highschool," he shuddered at the still too recent images his sibling had painted for him a little over a month ago. And quickly changed the subject. **

"**Any way, so are you finally gonna ask Hina-chan out?"****  
><strong>

"**I don't know I mean—that is—I really want to and everything but I don't think her father will approve I mean, well look at me I'm not very-"**

"**Nah ah ah **_**Chouji, **_**there will be none of that anymore.**_**" **_

**Chouji let out a sigh "Well I really do want to make a good impression though, Hiashi-san is a **

"**Total bastard," the blond supplied.**

**Chouji shook his head. He really needed to talk to his blue-eyed friend about that foul mouth of his. It really wasn't appropriate for someone who was as innocent as Naruto.**

**Or so he thinks.**

"**Any way Chouji if he refuses to give you his blessings in courting his daughter, I say screw him and do it anyway. You can start by climbing up to Hinata's bedroom window in the middle of night and recite love sonnets for a week or two. **

**Once that grows stale, you can coax her out into the moonlight and take a walk along the Hyuuga's privately owned hot springs. Do this for a month, alternating between 10:00pm and 12:00pm accordingly and by the time the new moon rolls around, the girl will be so dizzy with lust that she'll probably forget all about her timid nature and strip o-"**

"**Woooooah, wait a minute. Stop! Please don't go any further."**

**The blond laughed at his chubby companion. **

**The other boys' face was so red right now he could probably fry an egg on it. "Sorry Chouji, sorry but really this fear of being rejected by Hina-chan is just ridiculous. I mean after all it's not like she's Ino or anything.**

**Chouji let out a groan at the mention of his ex and buried his face into his hands "Please don't remind me."**

"**There, there buddy it'll be fine, I'll even come with you to the Hyuuga estate if you want me to, just name the time, date and place and I'll be there."**

"**Really?" Chouji looked up "You'd do that?"**

"**Of course I will Chouji. I'm an Uzumaki and Uzumaki's never go back on their word."**

**End of Prologue B**

**()()**

**Right well as I previously stated I have no idea where I planned to take…if I ever pick this story up again (doubtful) it won't be any time soon. **


	4. Chapter 4

**We make our way into the land of Tenipuri!**

**()()**

**Disclaimer: I don't know enough about tennis to play it, let alone create it, that said my name is NOT Konomi Takeshi!**

**Before you read this I want you to remember a few things.**

**Echizen Ryoma is my favorite prince of tennis character**

**I do support the YukimuraxSanada/SanadaxYukimura pairing sometimes but I like SanRyo more. GRINS.**

**In no way did I or will I ever claim to be a good writer**

**No this is not beta read and probably never will be.**

**No this is not finished and most likely won't be.**

**Okay read and enjoy! Or don't enjoy, whichever**

**It's suppose to center around Yukimura's jealousy…**

**In to the mind of…**

**Rumors for the boys' abrupt departure circled**

**Just what was so great about the brat any way? Sure the boy had talent, he acknowledged that much. But other than the tennis what was it about Echizen Ryoma that had captured the attention of so many? **

**His looks were nothing special, he was short and scrawny, his eyes were too wide, his cheeks were too high, his nose too pointed, his mouth was decent enough but he wasn't fooling anyone with that cheap lip gloss, one of his ears stuck out further than the other one, something that was difficult to see if one didn't know where to look. But Yukimura Seiichi wasn't just anyone and thus he noticed everything. **

**He let the newspaper clippings slide. He let the bizarre text messages slide. He even let the carbonated grape drink slide, but… **

**Did Genichirou really think he could get away with it?**

**Did he really believe that he could just go on pretending, go on lying? **

**Genichirou was a terrible actor. He wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Yukimura Seiichi.**

**Yukimura did not appreciate being ignored. In fact most people wouldn't even dream of ignoring the one who was blessed by God.**

**()()**

**A sip of tea. A bite of fish. Clanking of a spoon against a bowl. A second sip of tea. Another bite of fish. Distant ringing of a phone. A barely there sneeze. Soft rustling of fabric. **

"**Are you quite done?"**

**A faint smirk. "I thought you weren't speaking to me."**

**Indeed he did say that but**

"**I suppose I was being a bit irrational earlier, but I've thought it over and I'm calm now."**

**A raise of a brow **

"**Don't look at me like that! I am calm, as calm as one can be given the circumstances." he amended.**

"**Good, because now that I know you are calm I trust you will be able handle the latest turn of events. "**

"**Just who do you think I am?"**

**A wider smirk "Easy Seiichi, I am not the enemy here."**

**No Yanagi was not the enemy. That title belonged to some one else. **

"**Spill."**

"**Golden hills and black drapes with a unique green tint."**

**Right now he couldn't give a flying fig about golden hills he just wanted the facts.  
><strong>

"**You know I don't appreciate it when you speak in riddles Renji, now out with it!"**

"**Lyrics for his latest song."**

**He hated these little guessing games. Yanagi knew this and yet he insisted on playing them time and time again.**

"**And?"**

"**And you see the connection don't you?"**

**He thought about it for a moment and once he came to the conclusion, he wanted to throw something.**

"**I do."**

**A light chuckle "So what do you intend to do about it?"**

**That was a very good question. What would he do about it? Surely nothing to drastic, he had a reputation to uphold after all, but something had to be done. And fast.**

"**What do you think I should do?"**

"**Perhaps you should make friends."**

**Make friends with the enemy? It wasn't unheard of. He'd have to think on it.**

"**Any other suggestions?"**

"**You could always fly there and confront the enemy in person."**

**Hm, that did have a certain appeal and it had been a while since he had last visited the states. Almost 4 years. There was only one tiny problem.**

"**What would I tell Genichirou?"**

"**Who said you had to tell him?"**

"**I—alright suppose I go along with your plan and hunt down the brat, what then?"**

**A full on grin. "Leave that to me."**

**()()**

**He was thinking of him again. Lately that was all Genichirou thought of. The boy. Not just any boy. Echizen Ryoma, the prince, Seigaku's golden rookie, or make that former rookie since said boy had apparently returned to the States.**

**()()**

**A/N Shame. I thought this had some potential too but…sighs, another lost cause.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Drabbles. Snippets. Clips. What the hell does one call these? Thoughts thrown together into sentences?**

**Bah, whatever…feel inspired? Maybe you can take these "ideas" and do something usual with em. **

**IF ALL GRAND SEMES AND UKES GATHERED IN ONE WORLD…Something like this might happen.**

**(Tenipuri)**

**SanRyo, SenMomo, InuYan, YagKai, unrequited KaiInu, NiouKiri**

**While Ryoma is busy being fucked by Sanada behind the bleachers, Sengoku is carrying a drunk Momoshiro home, Kaidoh sulks at the local bar while Inui and Yanagi catch up on old times and Yagyuu moves in for the 'kill'. **

**(ES21)**

**MontaSena, MusashiHiruma, Mizu+Kake, Suzuna**

**Sena and Monta are fooling around on the train while Suzuna is off in search for more food, Musashi runs oil all over Hiruma's sore muscles and next door Mizumachi cracks another bad joke and Kakei considers drowning. **

**(NARUTO)**

**RaidoGenma, GenmaRaido, RaidoNaruto, RaidoNarutoGenma, ShinoKiba**

**Naruto is taking the time to know a little bit more about the mystery that is Raido, while Genma pouts because he hates being ignored, Shino grins because he has just one a bet he made with Kiba. **

**(D. GRAY MAN)**

**KanAre, TyLav, KomRee**

**Allen is going on his first official date with Kanda while Tyki and Lavi watch them from the hidden camera room. Komui is sipping fine wine and devouring chocolates while he watches Reever touch himself. **

**(BLEACH)**

**UlqIchi, RenIshi**

**And while Ichigo tries to avoid Ulquoirra's hot green gaze and the fact that the other man is practically naked, Renji rides Ishida like the slut he is. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I INVITE YOU INTO THE LAND OF ES21…**

**Where football is hot and the players are even hotter…course these "drabble-like" bits don't have shit to do with the sport. **

**()()**

**A plot summary for a story I thought I would write but never did.**

**Hiruma had several hobbies so it really shouldn't come as a surprise to Sena and the rest of the Devil Bats that he also spent half his time as a ring leader of a circus.**

**()()**

**(Some random AU-setting where Sena is watching Shin in the locker room…he does this quite often and simply can't help himself)**

**Sena knows he shouldn't be doing it, knows that what he's doing is wrong, his mother would be so disappointed in him, so very disappointed and his father well, although Sena has never been that close to his old man they have a certain understanding about pretty much everything. At the end of the day though he knows that I'll though both his parents will still love him, he just can't stop himself.**

**Sena is watching Shin, watching him so intensely that if it were possible he could probably tell you every imperfection on the older man's skin if you asked him, something like this, he's studying him so intensely that the fact that blood is dripping from his nose and he feels as though he might pass out doesn't even cross his mind.**

**()()**

**(Sena likes Habashira Rui, Akaba does not)**

**Sena is all caught up in the grease, green and gang wars that make up Rui. Akaba does not like this, and he tells Sena as much many times. Rui is nothing but a loser, a slime ball, a freak with bad fashion sense, etc, etc, even if Akaba puts the mans fashion sense aside he does not approve of that wild biker life style. Many times he will pull Rui and Sena apart, but Sena only falls harder, and eventually Akaba will have to accept.**

**()()**

**(A random AU where Sena is supposed to spend a perfectly normal weekend in the mountains with his parents but what happens when he spots…)**

**Shin-san sitting around the camp fire with his parents? Mamori-nee-chan and Riku are absent, Sena feels his face grow warm when he spots the older boy. Sena's parents are blissfully naïve, maybe even more naïve than he himself is, either way it doesn't matter, because all Sena can see right now is Shin-san, some how he gathers up his courage and joins the other three by the fire. Sena's mother offers the boy food, Sena politely declines, he can't eat in front of Shin-san, and risk slopping food on his face.**

**A short while later…**

**Sena's parents turn in for the evening and now it's just Shin-san and Sena sitting alone together, a total sense of dejavu, only this time for some reason it feels twice as intense, even though a bear is no where in sight. Sena wants to say something but his mouth is unreasonably dry and so he says nothing.**

**()()**

**He couldn't explain it if he tried but one minute he was staring into the camp fire and the next Sena winds up following Shin-san on his midnight run, and some how the two wind up in another part of the forest and some how they come together.**

()()

Some random AU (Sena and his adventures at summer camp…The haha bros torture him)

**Sena has been forced to attend an outdoors adventure summer camp but Sena is not fond of the outdoors…**

**Riku, a boy he befriended during the first week adventure camp left due to some problems at home, enter Sena's bullies, the heavens or who ever is up there surely must hate him if he can't even get away from the trio. Granted their not as mean as some of his other tormentors but in a lot of ways their worse, constantly finding every which way to tease and embarrass him, especially around the girls. **

**For this reason many girls stay away from him, except for her, Suzuna, she said her name was, she seems nice enough but even she isn't around long, so it's just Sena and the trio. The other guys are too nervous to come near Sena since he's constantly surrounded by the trio. All and all Sena pretty much hates camp life.**

**Thank God there's only 2 weeks left, pretty soon he'll be free.**

**()()**

**Another random AU**

**(It sucks being dumped. Poor Sena still consumed with thoughts of Akaba and Riku isn't really helpful as he much more interested in his cellphone)**

**It's been six weeks since the breakup and Sena doesn't feel any less distressed? Disappointed? Upset? Heartbroken? All of the above then he did when it first happened.**

**He let out a sigh and buried his head in an month old American football magazine, for some reason the sport always helped him out during times of depression.**

"**Is it something I said?"**

"**It has nothing to do with anything you did or said Sena. People fall out of love, it happens."**

"**Not to me. At least it wasn't supposed to happen to me, that is I mean maybe I just should've made more of an effort, I mean it's not like I've never worn a dress before but it I'm a guy! **

"**It has nothing to do with the dress, Sena."**

**Completely ignoring what Riku just said, Sena continues with his rant**

"**Guys aren't supposed to wear dresses, a pause and turn "although the material was really soft but that's not the point. Just because I'm shorter and weaker than most does not make me any less of a man. I mean it may not seem like it but I do have some pride damn it!"**

"**Oh this time it's damn, wow never thought I'd see the day."**

**A glare "It's not funny Riku."**

"**Actually it kind of is since you're like the only guy I know who still uses terms like 'darn it' and 'that's swell' when you're angered or stressed out about something."**

"**Riikuuu stop teasing me, can't you see I'm in pain here?"**

"**Sena don't be such a drama q-**

Zoot suit riot

Throw back a bottle of beer

Zoot suit riot

Pull a comb through your coal black hair

"**Don't you ever put that thing on vibrate Riku?"**

"**Of course not."**

**A sigh "Riku I miss him."**

"**Then call him."**

"**I can't just call him, he's on tour."**

"**Never stopped you in the past Sena."**

"**That was different, we were still together then, he insisted that I call him even while he was busy but now," Sena looked down at his feet, hopping they'd give him some advice since Riku seemed more concerned with his stupid text-mess crap than him. **


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Kishimoto-sama owns Shikamaru, Naruto and everything in the Naru-world.

**Original authors note: This was originally supposed to be a fun and humorous one shot or three shot story, but over time it progressed into a longer story. Not sure how many chapter, but for now I'll say 20. I'm very fond of the ShikaNaru pairing (well I'm fond of just about every UKE!Naru pairing but yeah-any way it's Shikamaru centric.**

(8/11/11) NEW AUTHORS NOTE: I'd like to actually try to get back to this one some day but for now…it remains INCOMPLETE…enjoy anyway

Summary: Not much of a summary. Shikamaru spends his summer days lazing about on the rooftop of his house and watches the blond boy across the street. Sub-plot, Ino demands that Shikamaru join her in the search for her missing best friend. There's more but you'll have to read and see it.

Warnings: AU, Language, spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-ons, non-beta-ed, OOC-ness, BL pairings, NON-BL Pairings, and pretty much everything else you see when you read my works.

_Who likes short shorts?…a lazy genius that's who!_

**Chapter ONE**

The summer was hot, a blistering 96 degrees. Anyone and everyone was out at the local pools, the beach or inside their air-conditioned homes. Everyone except for one guy and the object of his lust that is…

The guy was tall and thin but not overly so. He had a fine sinewy physique. Skin, a light vanilla coffee color, eyes, a deep brown, nearly black and hair, long, silky and often tied up in a high ponytail.

He was perched up on the rooftop of his house, crouched down low, arms tucked under his chin in a rather lazy sort of fashion and his gaze turned down to the figure across the street.

A boy, he guessed, around 15 or 16 years of age by the looks of it. It was a bit difficult to pinpoint an exact age since the boy was currently bent over tending to a patch of white daisies in the garden.

He had watched this boy many times, often more than not admiring his fine calve muscles and creamy sun-kissed looking thighs. The boy was practically in his birthday suit, what with those incredibly orange short-shorts he was wearing. It could hardly be deemed appropriate for outdoor housework.

Not that Nara Shikamaru was complaining…nope not at all.

This was –for lack of a better word, his dream boy.

"Shikamaruuuu!"

A familiar irritating and very feminine voice called out suddenly. Startling the cute blond down below, causing said boy to drop the old fashioned looking water can he had been holding.

"Shikamaruuu," the voice bellowed once more.

Shikamaru let a rare smile cross his face as the boy below muttered something under his breath, picked up the fallen can and resumed his gardening.

"Shikamaruuuu"

At the third shout, Shikamaru let out a groan as his longtime next-door neighbor/part-time headache climbed the ladder (that he himself never bothered with but left there since it made his mother feel more at ease) and joined him on the roof.

"You lazy ass! What are you doing sleeping up here when its such a nice day out?"

"I like it up here," Shikamaru answered simply.

"Yeah well your mother said you've been up here for 3 hours. Are you trying to get cancer before you even reach graduation day?"

That was Yamanaka Ino for you. She was the ever dramatic and always pestering him. It was like the girl had nothing better to do. Gods, why did his mother insist on inviting her over when she knew damn well that he did not want to be disturbed.

His best friend Chouji had never annoyed him like this. Chouji had never dragged him all around the city for pointless shopping trips and over-priced concerts and loud themeparks.

Chouji had never asked stupid questions like 'why if he was so smart why did he get D's in every class?' Chouji had never stuck his nose where it didn't belong (telling him who he should date and why) It was at times like these that Shiakamaru missed his friend terribly.

It would be a year and a half come this August since Chouji's unfortunate death. A year and a half since Chouji's family had moved away.

Shikamaru had tried many times to write Chouji's parents but he never received much more than a simple "We are well, thank you!"

"Earth to Shikamaru!" Ino snapped her glossy purple painted fingers in front of his face, "Hello I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes now. I don't know why you suddenly zoned out like some pot head or whatever but its rude and I don't like it!"

The girl frowned when Shikamaru didn't bother to respond.

"Don't make me pinch you!"

Sweet mother of…would she ever shut up?

"What is it Ino? Did you and Sai have another one of your infamous fights?"

"No. It's Sakura.:

"What about Sakura?"

"She's missing."

"What do you mean she's missing?"

"Well it's like this: A couple of weeks ago we got into one of our stupid arguments and so she like just stormed off or whatever. When I called her house later that night, her mother said that she had just gone to bed.

So I figured okay it will all blow over in the morning but then the next day when I went over to house her stepbrother said I had just missed her. Said she'd gone to the movie with a group of friends. And I figured okay so she's still mad at me, well that's fine I'll just have to be the bigger person, go down there and apologize. So I get to the cinema and its jam-packed

"Ino if you could kindly get to the point I would greatly appreciate it."

"Shut up and listen to the story!"

"Any way the cinema is jam-packed right, I can barely see anything and just when I'm about to give up I spot a bright pink head among the sea of dark brown. It's Sakura and so I start making my way towards her but then this asshole like knocks me over or whatever, and the next thing I know I'm down on the damn ground and this stupid bitch practically crushes my fingers and I'm ready to fuckin kill once I get back up

"Ino if you could just

"Damn it I told you to shut up and listen when a girl is trying to tell you a story!"

Shikamaru let out a sigh. He so did not need this right now. He fumbled in the pocket of his shirt for a cigarette and lighter as the girl continued.

"So by the time I get back up Sakura is already gone. Completely gone, just like that. I figured maybe one of the ticket vendors had seen her leave or something so I asked around but they just looked at me like I was weird. Fucking assholes! But any way so by now I've got a bruise like the size of a satellite dish on my ass, my hair is all over the place, my makeup is smudged and –what?"

Shikamaru looks skeptical.

Ino hisses, much like a cat whose just had her tail stepped on.

"Bruise the size of a satellite dish?"

"Oh screw you! You don't believe me I can pull down my pants right now and show it to you."

"No thank you."

"Asshole."

Shikamaru shrugs. He really doesn't care what the platinum blond thinks of him. She's the one who came and pestered him, not the other way around.

"Any ways so a week went by and she didn't return any of my calls. I stopped by her house but she was never home. And then today when I ran into Hina at the yoga studio and asked her if she knew anything about Sakura's strange behavior, do you know what she told me?"

"What did she tell you?"

"She told me that the very last time she saw Sakura was 3 days ago and she wasn't alone. She said that Sakura was heading down to Shimmer."

"Shimmer?" Shikamaru raised a thin threaded brow. "Isn't that the place where those g—

"Yeah that's the place where those gang members hang out. I'm worried, what if something happens to her? What if they hit her over the head and dragged her off into some grimy alley somewhere. Or what if they k—

"Ino, listen to me. I'm sure its not what you think it is. You need to calm down and think rationally."

It may seem kinda cruel but he just didn't feel the need to worry at the moment. Sakura wasn't stupid, nor was she weak. Ino was being ridiculous.

"Don't tell me to calm down Shikamaru! My best friend is probably in some serious trouble right now. I'm not just going to calm down. I need to find her and **you** are going to help me got it?

Shikamaru let out a sigh.

_Troublesome. Women were so damn troublesome._

"Fine. Before you do anything else I want you to call Shino and Kiba."

Ino scrunched her nose "Why do I have to call those two?"

'_Why? Because I'd rather not deal with your annoying ass by myself'_ Shikamaru thought inwardly. 'Honestly, Chouji never questioned _me, why does she constantly?'_

"Shino has a car."

'He also happens to be the best driver out of all of us.'

"And Kiba?"

"Kiba used to date one of their members."

'_Well that's not entirely true. It was really more like one of their members used to stalk Kiba day and night. I hope he forgives me for using him as bait later on.'_

"Seriously?"

"Yes, now make the call."


	8. Chapter 8

Inuzuka Kiba in: The Modern Day Hippie.

Summary: Inuzuka Kiba was convinced that he was born in the wrong era. Too uptight, too controlled, so totally and completely not him. Life should be full of Music, Relaxation, and lots and lots of Lovin'

A/N So the summary sucks. Eh whatever, I've had worse.

Pairings: KibaxKurenai, KibaxHinata, KibaxNeji, KibaxNaruto, KibaxKankurou, KibaxShino, KibaxSai, any other undecided. No specific order and no final pairing yet.

Prologue

"_-Which is why I've decided to transfer you to one of my colleagues instead, she's a bit younger that I am but she's better suited for your problems."_

_Just how short was that skirt? Should it even be called a skirt? Wasn't it more like underwear? The kind one would expect to see in the bedroom during after hours. _

_How could her boyfriend even let her walk out of the house like that? And those heels had to be at least 11 inches high if not more._

_Her toes were painted a deep wine color today (like little cherries, would she get mad if he got down on his knees, crawled over and licked them?_

_Was he salivating? He must be. He could feel the wetness starting at the corners of his mouth._

"_Mr. Inuzuka!"_

_He jumped, so high, surely his feet had lifted a good couple of feet of the ground at that time._

_She was glaring, the way her lips curled, her eyes, dark and quite possibly—_

"_Kiba!"_

_He felt himself whimpering before his hearing caught up with the rest of him._

_His first name. Sweet heavens he loved it when she called him by his first name. The tone of her voice dropping a few octaves._

_It was sexy. Much like how her bedroom voice would be, he imagined._

"_See this is why I can no longer be your therapist—_

_That boyfriend of hers was one lucky bas—wait! Back up, what did she just say?_

"_What do you mean you can no longer be my therapist—are you retiring?"_

"_No."_

"_Then why—_

"_Because we've been here for 6 months Kiba and nothing has changed," she signed. "I'm simply not the right doctor for you."_

"_Who the hell says so?"_

"_Please don't swear."_

"_Like I fuckin care, this is therapy so I can say and do whatever the hell I want!"_

"_No you can not."_

_He watched as she reached over her desk and pressed the intercom._

_A very masculine voice came through on the other end._

"_Yes?"_

"_It's Kurenai, please call security and have Mr. Inuzuka escorted off the premises."_

_How could she do this to him? After everything he told her, she was just going to turn her back on him,_

_WTF?_

_Kiba felt like stomping his feet, much like a 3 year old would do. He had it so bad for Dr. Kurenai. Why couldn't she see that?_

_Why was she trying to end the greatest thing that ever happened to him?_

_Granted he wasn't tickled pink about the idea of seeking help for his problems in the beginning. But then he met Dr. Kurenai and that all changed._

_Not only was she insanely hot, she was also the only one outside of (Akamaru, his dog) who really understood him._

_The only one who told him that his reckless lifestyle wasn't entirely his fault. That being dumped by his last girlfriend wasn't the end of the world._

_She had—she made him believe._

_Argh why did this shit always have to happen to him?_

_He was so sick and tiered of being bounced back and fourth between therapists like a damn beach ball._

_He was a human being for Christ's sakes._

"—_I wish the very best to you and I'm really very sorry it has to end this way but—_

_Was she still talking? He didn't care to hear her damn lousy excuses._

_She was sick of him. He got the message. Loud and Clear, Thank you very Much!_

_Fuck this shit! He wasn't going to go down like some damn pussy, he'd be damned if her let her have the last word—_

_Kiba rose from his seat, grabbing his fur-lined leather jacket. He let out a snarl and made his way towards the exit, opening the door and then slamming it shut behind him._

_Bitch! That was the last time he'd ever open up to any one._

_TBC_


	9. Chapter 9

BLEACH LAND RETURN…

BONNE READ THIS IT WAS NEVER FINISHED BUT IT WAS FURTHER ALONG THAN A LOT OF MY OTHER WIP'S so it belongs here!

Disclaimer: I have not nor will I ever own BLEACH. We call things like this fanfiction.

Warnings: AU, Uke!Ichigo, MxM pairings, MxF pairings, FxF pairings, Incest, Language, some Violence, hints at suicide, death and some other unpleasant things, spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-ons, a jumbled mix of American and Japanese concepts, themes, etc, the occasional OC and a varying degree of semi OOC-ness and major OOC-ness, Inoue and Hinamori bashing… Kon, Ichigo, Shiro are triplets but mere minutes apart so I decided that Kon is the oldest son, Shiro is the second oldest son and Ichigo is the youngest son. Yuzu and Karin are still twins just like in canon.

**A/N Don't expect genius, you won't find it here. I'm pleased to see that some of you are enjoying it though. =)**

**PS. I have zero knowledge of cars and fencing.**

**BOBB BOBB BOBB BOBB**

**KUROSAKI**

**001 A mother knows best **

"**A**bsolutely not! I won't have you subjecting my child to such filth."

"Oh but Masaki-san don't you think you're being just a little bit dramatic, the boy is what fourteen already?"

"Fifteen."

"Fifteen, why that's even better, I know just the perfect p…

"I said no, what part of no don't you understand. Do I have to spell it out for you half wit?"

"Masaki-san there's no need to be rude, I was merely suggesting that the boy—"

"Ichigo will not be the next poster boy for your filthy magazine and that's final!"

"But if you could jus—"

Click. Masaki had heard quite enough. Hanging up the phone on someone was not a very pleasant thing to do but she just couldn't stand to hear another minute of Suki's crap.

She let out a sigh and smiled fondly at the thought of her youngest son. He was shaping up to be a fine young man, she couldn't believe that next month he'd turn sixteen. Sixteen.

She better start making reservations at his favorite restaurant, Black Butterfly, and then contact her half brother and see if he and the wife would be able to fly in for the occasion. Kaien had been promising Ichigo fencing lessons for the past few years and yet always backed out at the last moment. Not this time. She would not have anyone holding out on her son.

You only turn sixteen once after all.

And while she was at it she may as well contact Isshin's relatives-though she had never been very fond of them.- Foul mouthed and Rowdy as they were.

Then again Kukaku had a pretty dirty mouth herself but Masaki wouldn't worry herself over something like that since the young woman rarely showed up when the rest of her family would visit.

Kon and Shiro would be turning sixteen along with Ichigo but she already knew that the two of them had absolutely no interest in celebrating their birthday with her and the rest of the family

Shiro would get his new Jaguar XKR as per request and Kon would get his Year-Round-Trip to Europe.

Only the very best for her boys.

Many mothers in the neighborhood often criticized Masaki, claiming that she was too soft and as a result her boys were spoiled rotten.

Such nonsense.

She didn't spoil her children. She nurtured and cared for them like any good mother would. She never allowed her boys to slack off.

Her daughters on the other hand…she never really understood them, Karin especially. The girl was just so very tomboyish, she felt as though she couldn't relate to the child at all.

And Yuzu was a mistake, a mistake that never should've happened.

Masaki never wanted girls in the first place. When she had found out she was having a girl all those years ago, she'd fallen into a deep bout of depression and drank heavily. Then a month later when she discovered that she was not going to give birth to one baby girl but two, she nearly drove her prized beauty, Grand Fisher, over the bridge.

A week later, she had found herself waking up in a hospital bed with her three sons leaning over her. The sight of Ichigo's tear-stained face, Kon's crossed arms and petulant pout and Shiro's angry scowl made her realize just how foolish she had been.

She had turned to Isshin who was sitting in a chair by the window and pleaded with him "Help me."

Even now here in the present, she felt a slight hatred towards her daughters and as a result didn't spend time with them unless it was absolutely necessary.

Isshin was very patient with her. He had more love for her than she probably deserved.

And he loved the girls, Karin was his little firecracker and Yuzu was his princess. He showered the twins with gifts and sweet treats, coached Karin's soccer team and praised Yuzu's cooking.

A scowl marred Masaki's face. It was a fact that her youngest daughter was a much better cook then she. It was just another reason to distance herself from the girl.

She shook her head free from the negative thoughts. It was such a nice day outside, the ideal day for gardening.

**BBOB BBOB BBOB BBOB **

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH. But I do worship the man who does, Kubo-sensei rocks and don't you forget it!**

A/N the chapter is similar to the last one, in the sense that I'm trying to give you (the readers) a sense of what to expect in later chapters. Or something like it any way.

KUROSAKI

**BBOB~BBOB~BBOB~BBOB**

002 **Pink Panties Snatcher Side A**

All through out his life Kon often prided himself on being the life of the party and a major chick magnet.

Even at the mere age of eleven, girls from all different walks of life had crowded around him, hoping he'd take notice and eventually date them.

And often he had—for a short time.

Chicks were just so damn needy. And clingy. He barely had time to breathe let alone think without having some silly twit climb all over him.

Half the time he couldn't even keep their names straight. Especially when they insisted on wearing the same outfits, styling their hair in the same way and the like.

Kon had decided that enough was enough when some silly little thing stage whispered to her friend who told her friend who then told her friend who then told her cousin who then told his brother's most hated enemy who then told him, that dearest sweet Tami might be pregnant.

With his child.

The very idea of fathering some snot-nosed whiny little brat did not appeal to Kon at all.

And so he'd set out to get rid of the girl.

It was going to be so easy.

First he would invite the girl over for tea at his aunt's country house, he'd give her the grand tour, feed her the finest cuisine, offer her the finest wine, show her to her private quarters. Aunt Amaya did not approve of boys and girls sharing a room.

He'd hold his hand out to her and the lead her to the staircase, together they would climb to the top, one step at a time.

And then he'd turn, act as though he wanted to whisper something in her ear only to let go of her hand and push her, more of a poke really.

The girl was so thin and fragile it wouldn't take much force.

She'd think she lost her footing, laugh at her own clumsiness and then reach out to him.

He would merely wave and smile as he watched dear sweet Tami tumble down the grand staircase and die.

It would be perfect.

He was a genius, perhaps the greatest genius to ever grace the world with his presence.

Too bad for him, his super great fantastic amazing genius plan had backfired.

And it was all thanks to that person.

Arisawa Tatsuki, a rather plain looking girl with short-cropped hair and small breasts had caught wind of his evil plans and warned the young mother to be of the dangers that lay in store for her.

Dear sweet Tami had fled, never to be seen or heard from again.

And as a result Kon had lost both his pride and reputation all in one go.

Chicks barely even glanced in his direction these days. And when they did, it was usually because they pitied him.

Pitied.

He was a Kurosaki. Kurosaki's were not pitied. It just did not happen.

Kurosaki's were to be worshiped by all whom came in contact with them. No matter how brief or long the encounter.

His brothers had their long lists of admires, both male and female alike.

Boxes of chocolate and colorful parchment often cluttered both of his sisters' rooms.

Often, his mother was envied by groups of women who were half her age and every man who had a healthy libido would often salivate at the mere sight of her beauty.

And his father, the man he idolized since birth had recently been given the title as the 'Sexiest Man in Karakura'

Kon missed the feeling of being adored and lusted after.

He missed the high-pitched giggles and gentle caresses.

He missed the silky long hair and hot bodies.

There was only one thing left for Kon to do now.

Seduce Tatsuki.

Once he succeeded in getting the girl to fall for him, it would only be a matter of time before all eyes were on him once more.

He grinned as he fingered the pale pink panties in his pocket. The very same panties he had one of his loyal servants snatch right out from under the girls' unsuspecting nose just one hour ago.

**BBOB BBOB BBOB BBOB**

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH. I will Never own BLEACH.**

KUROSAKI

**003** Simple Life For Berry? I Think Not!

**BBOB BBOB BBOB BBOB**

**He met her at a ballet recital. She was beautiful. Eyes a striking silver blue, hair, dark, glossy falling at her shoulders in stylish layers. Her skin reminded him of the cream he enjoyed putting in his tea.**

**Ichigo did not have one poetic bone in his body and yet when he saw her, the words just flowed from his fingertips and on to the page.**

**His sisters thought it was sweet.**

'_Should I set an extra plate for dinner?'_

**Yuzu was always so thoughtful**

'_Don't do anything stupid like get her knocked up or something, okay Ichi-nii?'_

**Karin, wise beyond her years**

**His mother, she was not fond of the idea. She had worried for him. Worried for his health, for his sanity.**

'_A girl like that will only bring you trouble, Ichigo. A girl like that will lead you to your death'_

**His father, God bless the idiot, had finally done something right for once.**

'_Son, Daddy is so proud of you!'_

_**('Course then he had to go and ruin it by adding**__)_

'_Run, go to her, and don't come back until you've made plenty of grand babies so their favorite grand daddy can smother them with love'_

**And his brothers?**

**Well…**

'_Does she have a twin you could introduce me to? I've always said we should go on double dates. Now would be the perfect time. And when we go out don't forget to introduce me as Sir Kon, The Great Knight of Karakura, defender of all the lovely maidens with in a 3 mile radius.'_

'_Stop kiddin' yourself King, ya belong to me.'_

**Naturally he had ignored both Kon and Shiro.**

**One was an Arrogant Womanizer. And the other was a Deranged Pervert.**

**More often than not Ichigo had wished he were an only child. Life would have probably been much easier that way.**

**Or if not that than he wished he at least had a normal set of brothers.**

**Like Chad (Mature, Loyal, Wise) and Keigo. (Carefree, Obedient, Artistic)**

**Or perhaps**

**An additional set of sisters, making it four in total.**

**Such as Yachiru, a short, pink-haired and free spirited 7 year old girl who'd often come and pester him while he was working out at the gym.**

**Not that it was her fault. Her guardian, Kenpachi, who also happened to be Ichigo's personal trainer, insisted on giving the child plenty of space to run wild.**

'_Let her have her fun, she's young. In ten years she'll be off at boarding school with her head buried in textbooks and running will be the furthest thing from her mind'_

**Same ole' speech followed the grin and… the **_**less than appropriate**_** questions aimed at him.**

'_So Ichigo, tell me honestly, do you bleach down there too?'_

'_When did you start the process? Did it burn?'_

'_Did you ever consider just waxing it? I mean its got to be quite a pain in the ass bleaching it constantly doesn't it?'_

**To which Ichigo would shout**

"_I DO NOT BLEACH ANYTHING. IT'S ALL NATURAL!"_

**Or maybe an older sister would be more ideal, someone like his piano teacher, Rangiku-san?**

**From certain angles he'd often thought the woman could pass as his mother's sister.**

**It might be kinda cool to have a big sister figure that sort of resembled a younger version of his mother.**

'_Would you like me to show you how I play the piano with my breasts Ichigo-kun?'_

'_Or would you like to touch them. Feel how nice they are?'_

'_Come now don't be shy, just reach out and give a nice good squ—_

'_MATSUMOTO!'_

'_Oh Kaichou you startled me. Welcome home!'_

'_MATSUMOTO WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BOY? AND STOP ADDRESSING ME AS KAICHOU, YOU LEFT THE COMPANY MONTHS AGO!'_

'_I'm giving him piano lessons. Why are you here?'_

'_NEVERMIND THAT. JUST PUT YOUR DAMN BLOUSE BACK ON AND FOLLOW ME!'_

_'Perhaps we could pick this up another time Ichigo-kun?'_

**Er no, definitely not good older sister material**

**Ichigo gazed up at the black and red checkered pattern ceiling above him.**

**Every time he looked up at it, he thought of Alice in Wonderland.**

**Should he follow the white rabbit?**

**Translation: Should he go to Kuchiki Rukia and pour his heart out?**

'_What would Alice Do?'_

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Kurosaki Shiro was the kinda guy who liked to come and go when he felt like it.**

**He was the kinda guy who really didn't care much for long, mushy gooey goodbyes.**

**Real life wasn't like some dumb chick flick.**

**Real life was…**

"**Kon, Ichigo you're brother is leaving now."**

"**Yeah? Well good riddance, asshole!" A teen with blond-orange hair shouted out from his top bedroom window." Before disappearing from sight.**

**Kurosaki Kon was the least favorite of Shiro's siblings. He was also Shiro's least favorite twin. **

"**Kon!"**

**The boy stuck his head back out and batted his eyelashes innocently "Yes my wonderful forgiving and all knowing mother?"**

"**Don't try to sweet talk me Kon, you know it won't work." Kurosaki Masaki scolded her youngest son. **

**Shiro heard a snicker from behind.**

**He turned to find his other twin standing there, one hand shoved in his forever too-tight jeans and the other wrapped loosely around a dog leash. **

"**Setting out today then?" **

**Kurosaki Ichigo sounded as if he really didn't give a damn what his brother was doing.**

**Shiro felt like punching him but refrained because their mother was still present.**

**Instead he turned his attention down to their Siberian husky, KJ. Short for Kariya Jin. The dog had been named after Masaki's favorite day time drama tv actor. **

"**Hey there little buddy how's it going?" he knelt down, scratched the dog behind the ears, gave him a light pat on the head and then stood up again.**

**He glared viciously at his brother who just continued to stand there with that stupid ever-present doom and gloom look on his face.**

**The only time Ichigo didn't look like that was when he was tending to the flowers in the garden with their mother. Or when he was playing a duet on the piano with their mother. Or anytime their mother focused her warm gaze on Ichigo and Ichigo alone. **

**The only way Shiro had actually seen the berry looking anything but sour was because he often spy on Ichigo and Masaki's bonding time.**

**Was he jealous?**

**You're damn right he was.**

"**Shiro?"**

**Masaki's light melodious voice reached his ears.**

**He turned "Yeah Ma'**

"**You promise me that you'll call when you get there."**

"**Sure thing Ma' Hell I'll even call you when I reach the first rest stop if ya want."**

"**Are you sure you have everything you need? Toothbrush, Vitamins, Underwear?"**

**Shiro patted his dark green tote bag with the pink bunny on it. Sure it was a little girly but it was also a gift from his little sister. "It's all in here."**

"**Well alright," Masaki let out a sigh and smiled her son "Kiss goodbye?"**

**Wasn't he a little old for sweet goodbye kisses from his mother?**

**I mean honestly. He was turning 18 come next month.**

"**I'm only going to be gone for like a week Ma' **

"**Stop being an ass Shiro!" **

"**Yeah what he said!" **

"**Kon. Ichigo. That's enough. Shiro please promise me you'll be careful?"**

"**Sure thing Ma' Nothing to worry bout' Grimm and I have been planning this since last new years. It's gonna be perfect."**

"**Well alright I better not keep you waiting any longer then."**

**Shiro couldn't help grinning like an idiot when he felt his mothers arms wrap around him. **

**She always made him feel kinda warm and fuzzy.**

**Secretly he loved that about her. **

**After a few minutes he pulled away from her and turned to Ichigo and snarled "Don't even think of touching my shit while I'm gone or I swear I'll tell every one about that little secret of yours!"**

**With a nasty smirk he got into his car and drove off.**

**Sometime later found Kurosaki Shiro and Grimmjow ****Jeagerjaques on the road to…**

"**We're lost."**

"**We Are Not LOST!"**

"**Yes we are, see there's that same weird hobo in the striped hat again."**

"**Damn. Alright so we're lost. Now what?"**

"**I guess we should call for help."**

"**Fuck that! Hand me the damn map, I'll get us out of here."**

"**Fine. You do that, I'm taking a nap."**

"**Sweet dreams princess!"**

"**Go fuck yourself!"**

"**Been there, done that but if you ask Daddy nicely, I'll give you a little treat later on."**

"**What am I a dog now?"**

"**Daddy doesn't like dogs, they make him break out in hives."**

"**Heh, no wonder you always run screaming like a girl when KJ is around."**

**Electric blue eyes narrowed at the comment.**

"**Hit a nerve did I?"**

"…"

**5 minutes later…**

"**Any luck?"**

"**Daddy doesn't need luck but if his little princess would like to lean over and give him a k—OW!"**

"**Shut up and just tell me where to go, dumb ass!"**

"**Tch. Take a left up here, it's a short cut to the nearest highway."**

**Sundown **

"**Grimm we've been driving for the last 6 hours I don't see any freakin highway, just sand, sand and more sand."**

"**Perhaps I made a mistake. No big deal, just turn around."**

**Shiro heard a rustling sound "What—What the hell are you doing back there any way?"**

"**Reading."**

**More rustling.**

**Shiro felt his pierced brow twitch in irritation "Reading what exactly?"**

"**I dunno. Found it the bathroom of that gas station we stopped by earlier this morning. It's not bad actually, a little exaggerated what with the over the top moaning and all but—**

"**Gimme that!" Shiro unbuckled his seat belt and reached for the magazine.**

**Grimmjow just laughed and held the magazine up to a level where the shorter male couldn't reach.**

**Shiro hissed in frustration and climbed over his seat and to the back, not even giving much thought about the now unattended wheel. **

**Grimmjow continued to hold the magazine far out his reach.**

**Shiro decided he'd had enough.**

**If he had to play dirty in order to get the magazine, then he would play dirty.**

**With a vicious smirk more fitting of a demon from hell then a human being, Shiro jammed his fist right into Grimmjow's throat.**

**And smiled in triumph when the magazine dropped into his hands.**

**He licked his lips. "Now then let's see what we have h-**

**!CRASH!**

"**Oh I do hope your brother is alright."**

"**He'll be fine. Probably soaking in the hot tub right now or something."**

"**Fuck!"**

"**Are you out of your fuckin mind? You could have killed us."**

"**Oh just shut the hell up and help me flip this thing back over."**

"**Hmm if I promise to help you what will you give me in return?"**

**Shiro was not in the mood for Grimmjow's shit right now.**

**He was tiered and he was pissed.**

"**What do you want?" he asked through gritted teeth.**

"**Hmm well my birthday is coming up."**

"**Got any Kings?"**

"**Go fish."**

**Got any Threes?"**

"**Go fish."**

"**Well at least the radio is still intact."**

"**Lotta good that does. We can't exactly drive it now can we?"**

"**Well no but—**

"**Just shut up for a minute! I need—I need to think."**

"**Got anys Two?"**

If you could be my punk rock princess,

I would be your garage band king.

You can tell me why you just don't fit in

And how you're gonna be something

"**One sec. I gotta get this?"**

"…"

"**Hello?"**

"**Kurosaki-kun?"**

"**Inoue. How are you?"**

"**I'm well and you?"**

"**I'm fine. Just fine. Did you need—I mean is everything alright. You're not in some kinda trouble or something are you?"**

"**No I'm just calling to see if you're busy."**

"**Nah. Not busy just playing cards with Keigo. 'Snot important."**

"**Hey!"**

"**So what did you want to ask me Inoue?"**

"**Well I—**

"**Next time we take a trip. We're taking Pantera."**

"**Shut up and walk."**

"**Yes princess."**

"**W-What do you mean your leaving Ichigooooo?"**

"**Keigo stop clinging to my leg like that!"**

"**But Ichigooooo?"**

"**Is there a sequel to this?"**

"**No but we can act out our own sequel."**

"…"

"**Princess what are you planning on doing with that bottle?"**

**!**

"**No one loves me! No one ever wants to be around me. Why? Why? Why?"**

"**Quite whining already! Ichigo left 30 minutes ago and yet you're still here giving me a damn headache. Go home!"**

**Kurosaki Shiro did not like having to depend on anyone but himself.**

**And he most certainly did not enjoy waiting around for other people to get their shit together.**

**He did not care for excuses.**

**He did not care for lies.**

**He did not care for much of anything.**

'_**Its her birthday and no one else is home, I can't just leave her alone.'**_

'**If you're so worried that she'll get abducted or somethin' why don't ya just dump her off at that Kuchiki mansion or whatever?'**

'_**I already tried that. Both Rukia and Byakuya are out of town for the weekend, off to some relative in **__**Seireitei**__**. **_

'**Then why don't you jus' pass her along to that home eco nerd.'**

'_**I already owe Ishida for helping me out last time and besides he's –**_

**Pale white hands tightened around a phone cord as the voice on the other end continued rambling.**

'_**Look all I'm asking is 15 hours. 15 hours and I promise I will come and pick you up. I'll even let you pick the radio station to listen to on the way back.'**_

**A dyed blue tongue licked along the top row of pearly white teeth. **

**There was a long pause.**

**And then **

'**Fine. 15 hours. And you damn well better bring me a fresh pair of clothes and hot water bottle while you're at.'**

'_**Clothes and Water Bottle. Go it. Any thing else?'**_

'**Yeah Grimm's here so you betta bring the suit.'**

'_**Forget it Shiro! I am not wearing that!'**_

'**Oh yes you are. It's Grimm's birthday and I promised him a cute berry in baby blue'**

**A grumble and then a reluctant **_**'Fine'**_

'**You better not be late Ichigo'**

'_**I'll be there. I said I'd be there now get off my damn back!'**_

'**Don't take that tone with me! I'm the older brother here, you're just the middle child.'**

'_**You were created from as test tube so you don't even really have an age or did you forget?**_**'**

'**Bastard. Just hurry your damn ass would ya, its not exactly warm out here ya know?'**

**A slam of the phone. A stream of curses. Another slam. Another stream of curses.**

**Finally the sound of **

'_**Time limit has expired. To add minutes, insert another dollar.'**_

**Fuck. He so needed a cigarette right now. **

**Pale hands reached into the pocket of pumpkin printed pajamas in search of a lighter but found something much better,**

**Ah BELVEDERE VODKA. **

**A quick twist of the cap, a few good swigs and Kurosaki Shiro's life was starting to look a little brighter. **

**Now that he thought about it. 15 hours didn't seem that far away**

**Shiro stumbled along the long and endless road of nothing ness, kicking up piles and piles of dirt and sand as he went.**

**He pulled his thin orange hoodie tighter around his lean but muscular frame and clutched his nearly frost bitten, fingerless gloved hands around the small vodka bottle.**

**A particularly large gust of wind blew at his backside just then. Fuck it was cold. Another moment and he'd swear his ass would go numb.**

**His teeth chattered as he brought the bottle up to his lips for another swig.**

**Nearly lost his grip when a familiar set of hands grabbed him from behind "There you are Shiro-chan, I was beginning to worry."**

'**Get the fuck off me Grimm, I'm not a damn teddy bear.'**

**The sound of laughter reached Shiro's ears.**

'**Aw what's the matter princess, are you cold. Come, let daddy Grimmjow warm you up."**

**Shiro slapped away said hands, threw the blue haired man a vicious scowl and then set off down the road once more.**

**A heavier set of footsteps not far behind him.**

**Knowing full well that Grimmjow had an almost un-natural human ability, Shiro started in on one of his infamous rants.**

"**15 hours. That brat actually expects me to wait 15 fucking hours while he parades around the town with that two-timing twat." **

**Grimmjow roared with inner laughter as Shiro did a perfect imitation of his younger brother just then**

_**She's all alone Shiro, I can't leave her alone Shiro, I need to be there for her Shiro, I can't let anything bad happen to her Shiro. She's really a good person Shiro if you could just give her a chance I'm sure you would really like her. She asked me to the Holiday Dance Shiro. And she looked so crushed when I turned her down. I have to make it up to her Shiro. 15 hours that's all and then I'll be there.**_

**Shiro clenched his fists so hard he nearly drew blood.**

**He ground his chattering teeth together and kicked up more dirt.**

"**I'll show him 15 hours the spineless prick!"**

**Gold tinted eyes narrowed as he recalled what else his idiot brother had said.**

'_**Nel and Renji really went ahead and did it. Not giving a damn about all the warnings and protests, they headed for the border and got married. Can you believe it, married at 17? Nel's really happy though, she sent me a text earlier, said that Inoue and I should come join her and Renji for brunch tomorrow. I would've but I need to drive out there and get you. Where are you again?'**_

'**The middle of fucking nowhere dipshit. Hueco Mundo.'**

'_**Really? Wait hold on a second there's someone at the door.'**_

'**Don't you dear put me on hold Ichigo.'**

**But that is exactly what had happened and then they had been disconnected.**

**And Shiro had been too fucking pissed to spend another 5 dollars in quarters in order to call his brother back. **

**Shiro twisted the cap off his vodka once more and downed the remainder. **

**He then let out an insane roar and threw the empty bottle on the road.**

**Fucking Abarai had the audacity to marry that sea-green haired amazon wench even after everything they'd been through. **

**After every thing he'd done for the tattooed red head.**

**He had given his very soul to the younger man and risked everything—only to have it blow up in his face.**

**Blow up in his fucking face just like everything else in his sad pathetic life seemed to.**

**Shiro angrily wiped away the tears that were starting in form in the corners of his eyes and stomped on. **

**How long had he been walking?**

**8 hours. 9hours. Perhaps he'd only been walking minutes and it just felt longer since no matter where he walked it led to nowhere. He honestly didn't know anymore. Nor did he care. **

**He couldn't even feel his body anymore. **

**Perhaps he had died and was now in hell!**

**No, not even hell would be this boring.**

**Perhaps he was dreaming. Perhaps he was still in nice warm bed at home dreaming. No not dreaming, but having a nightmare. Yes having a nightmare and little Yuzu hadn't bothered to come wake him up for breakfast yet.**

**Perhaps if he just pinched himself or something he could wake the hell up already!**

"**Shiro-chan I think we should stop and rest for the night."**

**Fuck you Grimm! **

**Wait, Grimm. Damn it wasn't a dream.**

**Damn, Damn, Damn.**

"**You're so quiet Shiro-chan. What's going on in my pretty princesses little head huh?"**

**Mmm Warmth. For once instead of avoiding the blue haired man, Shiro snuggled closer to him.**

**This was nice. He could almost fall asleep. Yep fall asleep right here in Grimmjow's a—**

"**Hey where the hell do you think you're putting your hands at asshole?"**

**Grimmjow chuckled at the younger mans protests "Tsk! Tsk such a temper daddy's little girl has. Daddy Grimmjow might have to punish his princess later."**

"**Bastard, mark my words, come morning I will kick you so hard you won't be able to stand straight for a month," despite this threat Shiro did not move from the taller man's embrace.**

**Nor did he protest when the blue haired man picked him up bridal style and headed to a little abandoned shack that had magically appeared out of nowhere.**

**Kurosaki Ichigo scowled at the scene that was playing out before him. **

**Christ! Didn't anyone have any morals these days?**

**Was it really necessary to act like that in a public restaurant?**

**And just how short was that girls skirt any way. You could practically see her underwear.**

**And as for her date?**

**Well he was…**

**Wait a minute he was looking right at him.**

**What the hell?**

"**I'm really happy that you could come out with me tonight Kurosaki-kun?"**

**Inoue's voice reached his ears.**

**Ichigo turned. **

"**Ah. I'm happy I could too."**

"**Um" The girl averted her gaze from mandarin orange haired boy and played with her napkin before finding the courage to meet his once more "Would you like to come over later?"**

**The girl looked so hopeful. So full love of admiration and love. But he just didn't see her that way.**

**Ichigo reached across the table and grabbed her small dainty hands.  
>"Inoue, listen I care about you a lot but –<strong>

"**It's alright Kurosaki-kun, I know honestly it's okay but you can't blame a girl for trying right?"**

**She smiled. But it didn't reach her eyes.**

**Ichigo let go of her hands and reached for his water. He took a few sips and then set it back on the table.**

**He cleared his throat and changed the subject "So anyway word from that Shiffer guy?"**

**A little bit of sparkle came back into Inoue's eyes just then at the mention of her muse.**

**Ulquiorra Shiffer. He was not your average college student.**

**Bone white skin. Blank Facial Expression. Strange Obsession with the Number 4. **

**Ichigo had only met the guy once or twice but it kinda freaked him out, that mans' unwavering green gaze. **

**Inoue however found it endearing. **

**She nodded energetically and then proceeded to tell him about their most recent study session. **

**It seemed the Ulquoirra had an unnatural fear of all things fluffy and he had jumped some 15, 20 feet in the air when Inoue's puppy, Tsubaki came in and pounced on his lap.**

**Ichigo smiled as the bubbly girl went on telling him about the up coming play that both her and Ulquoirra would be in.**

**It was to be a Mid Summer Nights dream with a modern day twist added on it.**

"**You'll come on opening night won't you Kurosaki-kun?"**

"**Ah. I'll be there."**

**A companionable silence fell over the pair just then.**

**Moments like these were rare and usually didn't last long.**

"**Sorry for the wait, we're a bit short on staff this evening."**

**Ah the waitress had finally come back with their orders.**

**Good. Ichigo wasn't sure how much longer he would've waited.**

**Another moment and the mandarin orange haired young man probably would've had to go into the kitchen and raise some hell.**

**He did not like waiting for his meal.**

**"No problem. We were actually pretty full from all the appetizers we consumed earlier so we didn't mind the delay, did we Kurosaki-kun?"**

**As a matter of fact he **_**did**_** mind.**

**But he wasn't about to snap at a helpless waitress. It wasn't her fault it had taken so long.**

**Ichigo shook his head. "It's fine. These things happen." He gave the waitress a small smile.**

**She, quite predictably, melted at the sight and then set his plate down before him.**

"**Will that be all for you?"**

"**Yes. Thank you."**

**Ichigo reached for his fork and watched Inoue do the same.**

**A small whispered prayer and the two friends dived into their meals with vigor.**

**Shiro was not the cuddling type. **

**The idea of two individuals wrapped all up in one another was not his idea of a good time. **

**He liked his space.**

**Liked to stretch his legs out in every position imaginable. **

**Grimmjow was making that near impossible for him to do.**

**If the blue-haired bastard held him any tighter he was quite sure he'd suffocate.**

**Death by suffocation was not the way Shiro planned to die.**

**Not that he planned on dying any time soon. **

**Still…why did the world have to hate him so much?**

**What had he done to deserve this?**

"**Go to sleep Shiro." Grimmjow mumbled into his left ear. **

"**I can't sleep when you're hanging all over me. And since when did you become such a clingy bastard any way?" Shiro griped back.**

**He felt the said bastard grinning behind him. "It's either you or the berry and seeing as berry boy ain't here-"**

"**Fuck this!" Shiro thrashed violently, hoping to rip away from Grimmjow "I'm not a fucking stand in for nobody!"**

"**Don't get so angry princess, you know how special you are to Daddy Grimmjow."**

"**Inoue, I need to use the washroom. Will you be alright by yourself?"**

"**Oh honestly Kurosaki-kun you act as though I'll get into some sort of trouble the moment you turn your back."**

**Ichigo frowned. He hadn't meant to sound that way. **

"**I'll just be a minute or two then." And with that he rose from the table and set off in search of the men's room.**


	13. Chapter 13

**The choir club is going on a skiing trip up in the mountains but some how more people than just the choir club show up.**

**While on this trip Sasuke sets out in search of his brother. He is going to kill Itachi! What kind of brother leaves out the most important part in their dream?**

**()()**

**See and that's how it all started.**

**For the past fortnight Itachi dreamt…and in this in this dream his foolish little brother was mated to another boy with sunshine blond hair…at first Itachi thought nothing of it outside of just that…a silly little dream. But then when his foolish little brother befriended a whisker faced boy with sunshine hair one afternoon on the playground, the crimson eyed youth thought it might possibly be a sign or message of some sort…**

'**Perhaps I'm destined to play some sort of matchmaker?' the youth mused…**

**()()**

_A teenage boy of 15 years old sat and waited patiently for the woman sitting across from to say something._

_Not that he expected much but it was always nice to get another's opinion on things. _

_It was better than eating breakfast in complete silence like every other day…_

_The woman, the boys' mother set down her cup of tea and let out an exasperated sigh, "You're asking me if I think the dream was a premonition or is some how tied to your fate, you already know my answer Itachi."_

"_Yes mother I am well aware of your opinions on fortune tellers and anything else out of the ordinary but it would be in your best interest to at least try to open yourself to the idea. The wise old woman down by the lake told me that I should not ignore what is in front of my face."_

_A man with a stern looking face looked over his newspaper and over at the boy who was not-quite the spitting image of himself, "Itachi stop harassing your mother and go pick up Sasuke from school."_

_He expected as much. His mother (Mikoto) and father (Fugaku) would never change._

_Itachi (if he was the type to do so) would have rolled his eyes. However he simply rose to his feet, kissed his mother and left the house._

_As he drove through the busy streets of Konoha, Itachi vowed that from this moment on his dreams would be kept only to himself….perhaps he'd tell his foolish little brother in time._

_()()_

_5 years later…_

_Some things have changed. Or some people…for example Mikoto is now the one to initiate conversation…and Itachi no longer lives at home._

"_Sasuke are you sure you won't need a lunch for tomorrow?"_

_Itachi's younger brother now sits at the exact same breakfast table but rather than touching his breakfast Sasuke is fiddling around on his cell phone._

_He let's out an aggravated groan...why can't his mother just leave him in peace? He's not a little kid anymore. _

"_How many times must I repeat myself? Lunch will be provided for us once we get there."_

_The youthful raven lets out a low chuckle at the text he just received, responds back and then reaches down to lace up his sneakers completely unaware (or simply doesn't give a damn) that his mother his glaring at him._

"_Sasuke."_

"_What?" he half hisses/half snarls at the women before smoothing down his bangs and reaching for his cellphone and car keys. Sasuke stands up and starts making his way towards the door-_

"_Not so fast, sit back down you haven't even finish your breakfast yet."_

"_Not hungry." The boy mutters attention now completely focused back on his phone again._

_A bowl of something he can't even begin to define is suddenly in his face-Sasuke narrowed his thinly arched brows at the concoction-there was not a chance in hell he was eating that!_

_He looks up at the woman and feel just a little bit bad about turning down a dish that she seems to be quite proud of (if the soft smile on her face and spark in her eyes are any indication) but it does not stop Sasuke from being the bastard that all his fangirls love him for-pushing the bowl away with a sneer he heads for the door again._

_Only to be blocked…_

"_Before you run off I'd like to have a word with you Sasuke."_

_It's Itachi. Home for winter break apparently. Sasuke raised a brow at the guy he has equally idolized/envied since birth "Itachi what are you doing here?"_

_A light, barely noticeable smirk makes its way on to the older raven's lips "Do I need a reason to visit my favorite otoutou?" _

"_Hn."_

"_Sasuke!"_

_Sasuke whirled around and snarled out another "What?"_

_Mikoto stood there with her hands on her hips "Don't take that tone with me. And what kind of way this that to greet your brother?"_

_Sasuke rolled his obsidian eyes "Whatever."_

"_It's alright, mother."_

"_No it is not. And honestly Itachi must you speak so formally to me?"_

_The brothers shared a look that their mother did not see._

_And Sasuke followed up with a snort "He speaks that way to everyone, always has."_

"_Is there some other way you'd wish for me to address you little brother?"_

"_Hn."_

"_Sasuke. Living room. Now."_

_Why did Itachi always feel the need to be so damn demanding. It's not like Sasuke argued with him…well unless his older brother gave him a reason to argue that is._

_()()_

_And so the two brothers made there way into the living room selecting the two identical arm chairs-seated across from one another._

_Legs crossed, fingers tucked the older raven spoke first_

"_Sasuke there is something I wish to tell you," Not one to be around the bush or start out the conversation with small talk, Itachi jumped right to the reason for his visit._

"_Hn, fine spill."_

"_Well before I begin I have a question to ask you?"_

_Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes, unlike his mother who would just frown or sigh at the action Itachi wouldn't hesitate to reach over and smack him silly. "What kind of question?" he kept his tone even._

"_Why have you distanced yourself from Naruto-kun during this past year?"_

_What the hell was Itachi talking about? _

_He saw the boy almost every other day…hell that's who he'd been exchanging text messages with a few minutes ago back in the kitchen. _

_True the things he and the blond talked about these day were superficial and dumb shit but who said life should be serious anyway-they were teenagers-it was natural to say and do stupid shit._

_-a simple 'hey' or 'bye' or 'dobe' and 'teme' was more than enough…or so Sasuke tried to tell himself, day after day, week after week, month after m…_

"_Are you going somewhere with this or are you just trying to waste my time. I have things to do."_

_A raised brow "Things? What sort of things?"_

_Sasuke grit his teeth wishing Itachi would just spit out whatever he had come to say._

"_None of your business and why the hell are you asking about the moron anyway?"_

"_Did you and Naruto-kun have some sort of falling out?"_

_If Itachi was referring to the incident that took place 3 fucking months ago the issue was dead and buried-never to see the light of the day again. Wait! How the hell had Itachi found out about that anyway unless…_

"_I wonder what Okasan would think if she found out that instead of attending your college courses you spend your time stalking me?"_

"_Sasuke avoiding the question only makes you look foolish. Give me an honest answer: What has happened between you and Naruto-kun? A year ago you two were practically joined at the hip."_

_Sasuke did not like repeating himself. He gave a careless shrug "I've been busy. I don't have time to play with him anymore."_

_Not a lie. Not necessarily the truth either._

"_I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes."_

_What the hell? Why did Itachi always have to make him feel/look like such a…?_

"_Busy you say? Is that the only reason?"_

_Sasuke's left brow twitched, he dug his blunt nails into his palms "Hn, do I need another reason?"_

"_Correct me if I'm wrong but you seem to be rather irritated and flustered at the mention of Naruto-kun."_

_Sasuke kicked down the blush that was threatening to rise to his cheeks-letting his bangs fall into his face, regaining control over his emotions before answering his brother "I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_I see," Red eyes glittered "Well if that is the case then there is nothing further to discuss." Itachi stood to his feet. "Have a safe trip, little brother." He turned with the intention to leave-_

"_Wait!"_

_Sasuke hated how whiny he sounded just then. Itachi always seemed to bring out the absolute worst in him._

_It sucked!_

_Running after his Aniki, clinging to the man like a child clings to their favorite teddy-pathetic, embarrassing and totally and completely un-masculine._

_If his fangirls saw him now-hell if the dobe saw him now they'd laugh him out of Konoha._

_Itachi turned and rested his palm on his brothers heavily gelled head. _

"…"

"_Okay so maybe I have been avoiding Naruto lately but that's only because I can't stand his stupid naïve act anymore. I refused to believe that the same guy who comes from a family who works in the porn industry is that clueless!"_

_Itachi chuckled. It wasn't something that he did very often but Sasuke always seemed to bring out the humanity in him. "I suggest you make it quite clear to Naruto-kun that your feelings towards him are more than simply platonic or else…someone will snatch him away right out from under your nose."_

_Someone else? Why was Itachi being all cryptic now?"_

_Sasuke furrowed his brows and looked up-smirking at the thought that in another summer or two he'd be as tall as his older brother "Is that…is that what this is all about? You had one of your dream-future type things only this one involved me?"_

_Itachi sent his foolish little brother a sharp look. Sasuke knew better than to speak of his "gift" out loud._

_Sasuke almost shrunk at the sight. Damn he hated it when Itachi used that look on him. He lowered his head in a bow and mumbled "Sorry I spoke with out thinking."_

"_Apology accepted," here another faint smirk "I'd expect no less from my favorite foolish little brother."_

_Sasuke scrunched up his nose and then schooled his features into a mask of indifference (or at least he attempted to) "Hn, so tell me whose ass do I have to kick before I can rightfully claim the prince of morons as my own?"_

"_If I told you who it was Sasuke it wouldn't be much of a victory now would it?"_

"_What/ Oh come on Itachi you can't be serious!"_

_Itachi said nothing but turned and walked out of the room, an uncharacteristic bounce in his step._

_Sasuke felt like punching something or someone-he settled for the rusted old tea kettle sitting on top of the mantle-not even sparing a glance as it cracked and fell to the ground._

_He had more important things on his mind._

_What the hell kind of brother delivers that kind of message only to leave one of the most important details out. Itachi could be such a bastard at times!_

'_Great now I have to spend the next 2 weeks trying to figure out who has their sights set on my dobe.'_

_()()_

_The following day…_

"_**The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and oof!"**_

"_**ENOUGH! Gods what are you three?"**_

"_**Hmm according to the 'Life of Youth' book it says that when you want to bring a smile to a friends face, you should sing a song. I picked this one."**_

_**Sasuke glared daggers at the pasty-faced junior sitting next to him. What he would give to punch that fake plastic smile right off the older boys' face!**_

_**Sai, a poorly cloned replica of himself. Eyes set too far apart, nose to thin, mouth too pink, chin too pointed, neck too long. Sasuke turned away in the disgust (no longer able to stomach the sight of 'tank-top boy' and glared out the window.**_

_**Much to his horror (and Sai's amusement) the song started up again**_

"_**The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go r-**_

"_**HEY Sasuke and Sasuke number 2. Long time no see."**_

_**Enter Kiba, or dogbreath as he's more commonly refered what with smelling like a damn kennel and all.**_

_**()()**_

_**TBC**_

_**Again this one has potential…no really I might even pick it up and take it some where…**_

_**I even have an outline of sorts…**_

_**It's difficult for Sasuke to focus on anything when everyone (Sai, Sakura, Hinata, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Ino) is a damn suspect!**_

_**They're all vying for Naruto's affections he's sure of it. He will not have it. Sasuke will go to whatever lengths he has to in order to get rid of the competition.**_

_**Meanwhile Itachi has enlisted the services of Kiba and Suigetsu to "keep an eye out" on his dear foolish little brother-set up situations for Sasuke and Naruto-kun to be alone…problem is Kiba and Suigetsu tend to get easily distracted due to their growing attraction towards eachother.**_

_**Unbeknown to Sasuke Itachi is going up to the very same mountains with his dorm mates, only he doesn't have any desire to ski or hop on a snowboard-unless it can get him closer to the sexy ski instructor Minato that is.**_

_**When we catch up with Sasuke we find the angsty raven stomping up and down the mountains searching for his brother-he overheard one of his classmates talking about a sexy man who fit Itachi's description perfectly and even though it was probably a rumor-he was determined to look into it anyway-**_

_**So caught up in his search for his brother Sasuke fails to realize that a certain blond is trailing behind him.**_

_**Naruto is trying to get Sasuke's attention. He wants Sasuke's attention. The blond is greatly disappointed/piss off that the bastard has been ignoring him lately. Naruto has been looking forward to this ski trip all year in the hopes that he could reconnect with his best friend.**_

_**Sasuke is the reason he joined the choir and came on the ski trip-Naruto was looking forward to making this the best mini-vacation ever-he was convinced that this experience would become one of his greatest memories.**_

_**He wished the raven would at least wait up for him-then they could walk together and…but no Sasuke has no intention to stop-and almost as if to mock Naruto, the other boy starts racing through the mountain at such an incredibly fast pace it seems almost hopeless to catch up to him now.**_

_**Naruto not one to easily give up or back down quickens his own pace but as the terrain gets steeper and the snow gets heavier-the blond has no choice but to stop and take a breather-he didn't even rest for a whole 15 minutes and yet it seems the sky has become darker in the blink of an eye-Naruto shivers and pulls his jacket more tightly around him…Sasuke is no longer in sight.**_

_**()()**_


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, Aizen would have more air-time. Alas, I own nothing.

Characters: "Shiro" (Hollow!Ichigo), Ichigo, Grimmjow, Inoue, Nel, Renji, Rukia and maybe a few mentions of some others.

Pairings: GrimmShiro, GrimmIchi, ShiroRen, RenNel, OthersIchi, the rest undecided. Revealed with time =)

Warnings: Laguage, spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, OOC-ness, randomness, blah blah its an AU fanfic written by me what else would you expect?

Last time on 15 hours or more...

_He felt the said bastard grinning behind him. "It's either you or the berry and seeing as berry boy ain't here-"_

"_Fuck this!" Shiro thrashed violently, hoping to rip away from Grimmjow "I'm not a fucking stand in for nobody!"_

"_Don't get so angry princess, you know how special you are to Daddy Grimmjow."_

And now…

'_It just sort of happened, I didn't mean to kiss her but I did and then I knew I could never give her up.'_

'_**I don't care if that stupid twat has the juiciest pussy in the whole damn city, YOU'RE MINE!'**_

'_Shiro, come on man get serious, two guys can never find happily ever after. (A sigh) it was fun for awhile but.. Look Nel is the one for me, so yeah.'_

_**(Pale white arms tightened around tattooed abs.)**_

'_**You're delusional. The dumb cunt doesn't even want ya. You're nothin' but a substitute ya hear me?'**_

'_Shiro, please don't talk about her like that. I know you're upset an' all but you need to get over it. Go out and find a woman of your own, I'm tellin' you once you do you'll be much happier.'_

'_**I don't want some fuckin' plastic wench.'**_

_**(A sharp set of fangs bit down on a soft ear lobe)**_

'_Ow! Fuck! What the hell is the matter with you man?'_

'_**I told ya all those years ago and I'm telling ya right now, YOU BELONG TO ME!'**_

"Aw Daddy is touched princess, her really is but really you might want to loosen your grip a bit, Daddy Grimm is having a bit of trouble trying to breathe right now."

**Kurosaki Shiro was dreaming of the past—more specifically, the very last time he held Abarai Renji in his arms—**

**Then fuckin Grimmjow had to go and ruin it!**

"Get the hell off me or I swear to whoever is listening up there, that you are fuckin dead!"

"Aw come on Princess, you're the one who grabbed on to be. In fact, I tried to move away but you wouldn't let me."

**Shiro snorted and thrashed violently, this time he broke free.**

**He glared down at the blue haired man then turned and stormed out of the shack.**

"Shiro-chaaan there's nothing out there, come back inside."

**Shiro ignored Grimmjow/**

**He knew damn well that they were in the middle of fuckin no where but he just couldn't stand to be around all that warmth right now.**

**He needed space. **

**Space to breathe. Space to think.**

**Now matter how prudish and borderline paranoid it might seem, Kurosaki Ichigo had never cared much for public restrooms.**

**Just the idea of being in a smelly tightly confined space with a bunch of strange men was totally and completely unappealing.**

**Bad things happened in restrooms.**

**And so with a rather reluctant sigh, Ichigo pushed open the door and stepped inside.**

**Taking a few minutes to scan the area for other occupants.**

**He was in luck. It was empty.**

**Now feeling more at ease, the orange haired youth stepped into one of the stalls and locked the door. **

**He frowned in distaste at the sight of the green stains speckled on what previously had been a porcelain white bowl.**

'_What the hell? Wasn't this supposed to be a 5 star restaurant?'_

**Wasting no time to unlock the door and quickly moving to another stall, Ichigo failed to notice that he was no longer alone in the bathroom.**

**The moon was a lot brighter out here in the middle of nowhere.**

**Shiro wanted to reach out and touch it.**

**It was a foolish thought really, he knew this and yet he didn't care.**

**In fact being out here with nothing but a starless sky, a bright moon and miles and miles of sand, felt peaceful in someway.**

**He hadn't taken the time to fully appreciate it earlier.**

**He had been far too pissed off to appreciate much of anything.**

**But now, now was different.**

**Abarai had loved the outdoors. While they dated, the tattooed redhead had often shared of stories of his youth with him.**

**Climbing, Camping, Skiing, Diving, he'd pretty much done it all.**

**Shiro had never cared much for the great outdoors until he met Abarai. **

**Never really saw the point. Or the beauty in it.**

'**Course Abarai was more beautiful than nature and all that crap. And he always would be. **

**That long beautiful red curtain of hair, those brilliant ink designs littered over most of that magnificent body, the ass cheeks that tasted sweeter and more satisfying than anything he had ever indulged in.**

'_Nel and Renji really went ahead and did it. Not giving a damn about all the warnings and protests, they headed for the border and got married. Can you believe it, married at 17?'_

**Shiro felt bile rise to his throat at the thought of that stupid bitch putting her greasy hands on the redhead.**

**/**_'Bastard, why did you do this to me?'__**/**_

"Shiro my boy, please stop sulking. It's not healthy."

What the hell?

**Okay granted it wouldn't be the first time Shiro doubted his sanity but he was pretty damn sure that raccoon was talking to him.**

**Where did the raccoon come from?**

**He hadn't the slightest idea.**

**He should've known something like this would happen.**

**Hadn't he just got through telling himself that bad things happened in public restrooms?**

**He was a damn idiot. Thinking he could feel at ease just because he was in a locked stall.**

**There were all kinds of freaks out there, freaks of the lock-picking variety.. like this guy for example.**

**Ichigo had no idea who was standing behind him, nor did he want to know.**

**Sure the person hadn't done anything—yet**

**It was just a matter of minutes, seconds even.**

**As if he'd give the bastard the chance!**

**Now even though his first instinct was just to turn around and slug the guy, commonsense, told Ichigo that it would probably be a very unwise idea.**

**For all he knew the person behind him could be a raging lunatic.**

**One wrong move, and Ichigo would probably find a bullet in his brain.**

**Yeah—not a good way to leave this world.**

'_Remain calm. Maybe if I do nothing, he'll get bored and go away.'_

**This was not very likely but…**

"You have a lovely back side."

'_A pervert. Great, that's just what I need.'_

"I've been admiring it all evening."

Ichigo whirled around (consequences be damned!) fists clenched ready to meet the perverts face.

But he found that he could do nothing but stare.

'_This guy'_

The very same man who was watching him from across the room at the other table.

Ichigo felt his cheeks flush a bit, only now realizing just how attractive this man was.

Still—

"Do you make it a habit to follow people into restrooms?"

A smirk.

"No. You're the first."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

_**Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH, if I did it would be all UKE!BERRY all the time.**_

_**A/N With good reason many authors (when writing Shirosaki) in an alternate universe describe him as an albino. Normally I would do the same, however such is not the case with this story, I have a different take on Shiro's outward appearance (waning its quite crackish)**_

KUROSAKI

004 **Not an Albino**

**There was nothing wrong with being called albino. Kurosaki Shiro never cared much for normalcy any way. He (for the most part) marched to the beat of his own drum. Did things his own way and had very little regard for other people and their opinions. **

**But the funny thing was (well according to him any way) that he was not an Albino at all.**

**At birth, he had been just as fleshy toned and brown eyed as the rest of the population.**

**Blended in with the crowd just as well as any one else.**

**Living a carefree life like most healthy children should. He played the trumpet, excelled in most of his classes and kept out of trouble.**

**But then he met another boy around his age (maybe a year or two older than him) one who enjoyed wearing sparkly pink ribbons in his hair. **

**Shiro was bright for an eight year old and naturally found the other boy weird. But at the same time, he felt it suited the boy. **

**And decided that maybe weird wasn't necessarily a bad thing. **

**The idea to experiment with weirdness on himself came to Shiro around Halloween, he asked his mother to buy black nail polish and lots and lots of artificial blue colored candy.**

**His mother never did deny him any of his requests (no matter how much his father protested against it!)**

**It was no secret to Shiro even then his stupid old man clearly did NOT want a freak for a son.**

**Which was ridiculous really, since Shiro knew for a fact that his mother painted her nails all the time (a rich red wine color to compliment her mahogany and brass toned hair)**

**Did that make her a freak?**

**Not at all.**

**Realizing he wasn't getting any where with trying to explain anything to a total dumb ass, Shiro learned to tune the old man out. **

**At the age of 9, when the winter holidays rolled around, while he was on a shopping trip with his aunt, Shiro discovered the POWDER.**

**A very rare, very expensive liquid, that if applied just right, it could give off the appearance of bone white skin (or so the middle age gypsy in the abandoned tea shop had said)**

**Because he was such a quote "a cute little boy" the gypsy had agreed to give Shiro a sample bottle full of the liquid powder, free of charge.**

**Later that night after everyone else had drifted off to dream land, Shiro stood in front of the mirror looking at his newly colored white hand. He brushed his flesh colored one over it and grinned at the feel.**

**It was so smooth. He just had to have more.**

**In the morning, he asked his mother to take him back to the shop –but when he arrived there, the gypsy was gone.**

**Naturally Shiro was angry, so angry that he failed to notice the small bag hanging on the door, a card his name attached to it.**

**Luckily his dear mother, with eyes like the most beautiful and brilliant hawk, had spotted the gift.**

**Voce, soft and gentle like the most delicate petal falling from a flower, his mother had placed the gift into his mismatched hands and carefully guided him out of the little shop.**

**Just as he had done the previous night, Shiro waited for everyone to fall asleep before rising from his bed to pour more of the liquid onto his skin.**

**The gypsy had been generous enough to give him 4 8oz bottles this time. Generous indeed,**

**He was still quite irritated with the woman though. What kind of person tells a young boy that he can only use half of his gift now and save the rest for a few years later?**

**At the age of 14, eyes widened and jaws dropped as Shiro stepped out onto the wide sports field during half time, basking in the light of his own greatness. (Bone white skin, powder white hair, gold irises, a tiny studded ring in his left ear) **

**He licks his lips (blue tongue sliding along the rim of his black lined mouth.**

**It is when Shiro fully comes to the realization (that he probably should of known, maybe did but hadn't quite accepted) **

**/'I make freaky look good!'/**

**And he certainly did, judging by the lustful gazes he received from excited cheerleaders and more than half of the football team.**

**Here now in present day, Shiro stands in front of his full-length mirror, preparing to finish the final touch on his freakish beauty.**

**The gypsy (still in contact with him) has just sent him a new powder, slightly different but no less special. **

**A powder for this very occasion.**

**She assured him that it won't sting but Shiro still hesitates.**

**Because one does not normally pour strange formula over their most sacred regions (and not suffer some type of consequences for it)**

**Still…if there is one valuable lesson his idiotic father has taught him, it is 'Never back down'**

**And so Shiro lets the towel drop to the carpeted floor, opens the bottle and pours. **

**TBC**

**What can I say? Some times the chapters will be worth the read and other times? Maybe not so much**


	16. Chapter 16

**UKES: THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT TYPES…**

**()()**

**AU FIC WITH SEVERAL CROSS-UNIVERSES, told in first and third person POV, main character undecided for now.**

**Title: Undecided for now**

**Snippets:**

**The idea was simply ridiculous, I mean who the hell ever heard of a proud UKE any way? Being an UKE wasn't something you were supposed to be proud of. It wasn't something you should boast about and it sure as hell wasn't something that he'd ever dreamt of becoming.**

**Hell he wasn't even gay. He liked girls, so long as they kept their clothes on and remembered to never address him by his first name while in the eyes of the general public.**

**Surely this had to be some kind of joke. A joke that most definitely was not funny.**

**It was downright insulting. **

**So lost in his thoughts as our main character was, he failed to realize the set of footsteps coming from behind him.**

ANOTHER AU FIC WITH SEVERAL CROSSOVER CHARACTERS

**Captain Hitsugaya Toshirou/leader of the UKES and one of the grandson to the founder of UKE island is leaving town for a few months and puts Uzumaki Naruto in charge until he gets back, he has his doubts but after much pleading and begging from Haku he's decided to give the blond a chance. Naruto is determined to do his very best, and aside from a few rocks in the road in the beginning, everything goes as it should at least at first, but then it happens.**

**Enter, Sohma Kyo a bitter UKE who's out to destroy the infamous UKE island resort and why? Because wearing the UKE title is not something to be proud of, it is a disgrace to ones man hood and before this month is over he is determined to have the other UKES join him in his Anti-UKE org, or something like that**

**Scene from UKE UNION**

"**What do we want?"**

"**SEMES"**

"**When do we want them?"**

"**NOW!"**

"**Why do we want them?"**

"**Because every UKE is in need of a SEME."**

"**That's right, every UKE is in need of SEME and why is this?" **

"**To keep balance in the world."**

"**Yes balance. And why is balance so important?"**

"**Because with out balance there is conflict."**

()()()()

UKE IN TYE DYE /ECHIZEN RYOMA/ (PRINCE OF TENNIS)

(KikuRyo or SanRyo)

Kikumaru glomps ochibi, Ryoma is not pleased, Nanjiroh is still an idiot, it's because of him that Ryoma is stuck wearing such a stupid outfit. Momo laughs, Tezuka-buchou is not there, Fuji snaps photos and Inui writes in his notebook. Ryoma is still not pleased, but that does not matter to Sanada since he can't take his eyes off the bratty prince, this action both annoys and amuses his boyfriend Yukimura. AU, some what OOC, tennis will be mentioned, hinted SanRyo,

UKE BLOSSOM /SOHMA KYO/ (FRUITS BASKET)

(EveryoneKyo) (Kyo undercover, perhaps cross-dressing, perhaps to spy on whatever that dumb girls name is, she's out on a date and Kyo is displeased, He gathers lots of attention, unwanted attention that is and by the end of the chapter Haru has kidnapped him.

UKE AND CUPID51 /KOBAYAKAWA SENA/ (ES21)

(JuuSena) Hiruma is at it again only this time someone is rather excited about the idea and is determined to win Sena, because after all he's cupid and cupid is all about love.

UKES DON'T KISS ON FIRST DATES /ALLEN AND KAI/

(LaviAllen) (TalaKai) (Dgrayman/Beyblade)

Center focus on Allen and Kai, Allen is about to meet his blind date, but for safety sake he has asked Kai to come along. During the time that he's waiting Kai tells Allen about the rules of the UKE or something like that. Somewhere in the middle Tala appears and throws in his two cents. Carnival setting, AU, somewhat OOC. Kai is 17 and Allen is 16.

UKES MAKE PERFECT HOUSEWIVES /ALLEN WALKER/

(KomuiAllen) (AgonSena) (Dgrayman/ES21)

AU, OOC, unrequited LinaleeAllen, cleaning crew organization, Allen and Sena are part of the (DUSTIES) cleaning crew, they most go out and clean big mansions and do whatever else is required of them (part time jobs, the other half of the time the two are at school.

Any ways their latest adventure is to venture to a side of town they've never been before (Rich area) Allen and Sena agree to meet up when their cleaning is complete.

Allen goes one way and Sena goes the other. Allen runs into Lenalee and she (after much begging and pleading gets the silver-white haired boy to come home with her for dinner.

So he goes into her house, dinner is served and Komui is smitten because Allen is simply adorable and he's decided that the boy, the total UKE will be the perfect housewife.

Meanwhile Sena has arrived at the Kongo residence, he is greeted (all though not so kindly by Agon's brother. Plain and simple don't bother Agon while he's entertaining his guest! Sena nods and sets to work, not much happens at first, but eventually Agon appears and decides that the little maid outfit is a perfect look for Sena.

())()

LET THE TENIPURI RANDOMNESS AND BUNNIES COMMENCE!

Head full of mistletoe….

The center focus is about Ayaka waking up on a typical Monday morning only to discover that he feels like a bucket o shit, perhaps the devil ace is being a little bit over dramatic in this story and so he'll automatically think the worst, he must be dying.

Fearing the worst, he rushes in out of the house and down the street in his leopard print boxers, completely ignoring all the strange stares he's receiving from neighbors and the occasional passer byers. Any way flash forward a bit and here he is his, in front of his former sempai's bachelor pad, his former buchou Yukimura has a filthy fuckin rich father and so all of the former team mates stay in there instead of the college dormrooms like regular people (boring people).

Any way Sanada is the one to answer the door, looking less than thrilled to see Rikkai's former problem child, navy blue bathrobe is untied, baseball cap absent for once, hair slightly damp as though he just stepped out of a shower or had a wild rump with Yuki (it's the later) Akaya ponders how the older male can still scowl so viciously with a toothbrush hanging from his mouth but doesn't dare to voice this question aloud.

Instead he settles for mock-saluting his former vice-captain and invites himself inside, he immediately rushes up the staircase to where he knows he will find Marui sempai eating his infamous strawberry short cake in his private bubble bath.

Blah blah fash forward

He hadn't expected to find both Jackal and Niou sharing the bath with Marui, but he doesn't really care either way, since Jackal has always been supportive and Niou is like the brother he never had.

He does not apologize for intruding since a) he knows that he's not sorry and b) he might be dying,, .or something like this.

Any way he explains that he has a fever, a terrible fever and a headache to boot, that he feels like his skin is on fire and is having a hard time breathing properly.

Niou is amused.

Jackal lets out a sigh and excuses himself, it is much too early to deal with Akaya's stupidity.

Marui licks the cream off of his fingers and then instructs Aka-chan to come sit on his lap. Kirihara hates being called Aka-chan but lets it slide since he can't possibly stay angry with Marui-sempai.

Any way he declines and waits to see what his two remaining sempai will say, just as Niou opens up his mouth to speak, there is a knock at the door, it is and he has announcement to make. All his mint chocolate ice cream is gone and he wants to know which one of his housemates took it.

()()

**Sengoku is the paper boy, but he tends to do a lot more than deliver papers, he loves to flirt with both Ryoma and Momo (when the other boy is around) he is often seen wearing obnoxious t-shirts in various shades of green, he's annoying for the most part, especially when he starts in on the gossip, so and so from such and such region/neighborhood is having a party, so and so couple broke up/got back together, etc etc, some times Ryoma thinks Sengoku is really just a girl trapped in a boys body.**

()()

**(Atobe. Sanada. Kirihara)**

**Alright now the basic idea is these three have flown all the way to America in Atobe's private jet. Their mission: Bring Echizen back to Japan.**

**In my head it played out a little something like this**

"**Yo Ryo there's some guy out there in a shiny purple shirt, says he knows you."**

**I don't know anyone like that" is the only response Ryoma gives before turning back to his game with some American kid, besides Kevin who is actually pretty decent at tennis, we'll call the boy Eli. **

**Any way something like that, I don't remember entirely as this all came to my head last night right before I went to bed. **

"**Ore-sama will not be ignored."**

**Ryoma can not believe what he is hearing, surely he had to be imagining, "Monkey king what are you doing here?"**

**Atobe, dramatic as ever looks offended, surely the brat should know why Ore-sama has come to find him.**

"**You know this guy Ryo?"**

**Ryoma does not bother answering his doubles partner, yes that's right Ryoma plays doubles now, singles quickly grew boring and yeah**

"**Unless something bad has happened to buc-Tezuka I'd like you to leave."**

**Again not quite the way it went in my head but it will have to do.**

"**Ore-sama isn't going anywhere."**

**Ryoma pulls his cap over his head, not his traditional Fila cap, but some cheap looking yellow vizar that looks like it came from a happy meal, "Whatever" he turns his back and resumes his game **

**Atobe is most unpleased**

**Scene flash enter Sanada and Kirihara.**

**No this is not how it went but whatever, I can always make adjustments when I feel like it.**

"**Sanada (still unsure of how Kirihara should address his former fukubuchou) "how much longer do we have to sit like this, my feet are starting to cramp up."**

**Sanada decides they will wait another 5 minutes and then step out.**

**Yukimura has sent him a text message, asking if their trip was fine. He responds by saying everything is well.**

**Kirihara is growing even more impatient, and bad things happen when the boy with devilish tendencies grows impatient.**

**With a sigh, Sanada stands up and motions for Kirihara to follow.**

**Scene flash**

**Ryoma and Atobe have been bickering for a good oh 15-20 minutes straight when two more familiar faces flash in the corner of Ryoma's vision. Although Ryoma is usually bad at remembering faces, he almost always remembers his more talented rivals.**

**Some how he has a bad feeling about this.**

**Why is the monkey and two members from Rikkaidai here, what could they possibly want? Atobe has already assured him that nothing bad has become of his old teammates, Momo and Kaidoh are the same as ever, Kikumaru, Oishi and Fuji all attend the same university, Inui still makes his juice, Taka still makes his sushi and buchou, no he's not his buchou anymore, not his anything, never was, Ryoma shakes his head, he does not want to think about that.**

"**Ne Echizen what do you say to a quick match, I'll totally crush you!" It's the devil in disguise that speaks first, yet despite his less than friendly greeting, Kirihara is smiling as though Christmas has come early, not scary at all, in fact Ryoma might just take him up on that match, if he decides to stick around long enough.**

**Any way he does something very Ryoma like and then directs his attention to the emperor. A shudder runs over his body, which is something he hasn't felt in years, in fact he hasn't felt that way since, no he will not go there.**

"**Mister Sanada," he greets with a sort of half smile/smirk. Even as he says this though it sounds stupid to his own ears, but the main reason he did was in order to get a reaction out of the former vice captain.**

**Sanada barely bats an eyes lash. "Echizen Ryoma," he returns the greeting, and perhaps it's the fact that Ryoma has spent a good 12 hours under the hot sun, that he sees the emperor smile, not an overly wide smile, but a smile that throws him off guard for a minute, it somewhat reminds him of no, stop it he will not think about that person again.**

**I'm not really sure what will follow.**

**At the moment Atobe is on the phone with Oshitari but he's very good at multi-tasking and so he hears the exchange between the three.**

**Sanada and Kirihara question Ryoma as to why he never visited Japan again and why he left in the first place.**

**Ryoma responds something like.**

"**I won bu-Tezuka his trophy, there was nothing else for me to do there and so I left."**

**Well something like this any way, overall he just makes it clear that he's a bit bitter with Seigaku, Tezuka especially.**

**Sanada and Atobe share several looks, both thinking the same thing in regards to the brat.**

**Kirihara has run off to intimidate stupid Americans, okay he hasn't gone to far, just to the other side of the court. He's been taking torturing lessons from Yanagi sempai for the last 2 years and so he can speak English pretty well now, well enough to issue a challenge**

**Back to Sanada, Ryoma and Atobe**

**The duo ask Ryoma several more questions, he answers some of them, short and brief, but still answers. For a few brief moments he thinks that the monkey King, secretly he calls him Keigo inside his own head, and Sanada have certainly become quite hot, something like this, basically he physically attracted to them and for a few more minutes as he's half/ass carrying on the conversation with them, he wonders if they are a couple. The shakes his head and tells himself he doesn't care.**

**The questions stop once Ryoma decides he's had enough, "see ya" and like that he's gone.**

**More fitting would be to have him part with his traditional mada mada dane but whatever. Atobe is less than pleased and Sanada is disappointed.**

**Kirihara is winding up for the finishing blow on his pathetic opponent when Sanada calls him to a halt.**

**Akaya sort of smirks at his almost victim and then makes his way over to Atobe and Sanada. Noting that Echizen is no longer with them. WTF? This wasn't how it was supposed to go. The three of them were supposed to bring Echizen back to Japan so he could show the world that he was better than the prince. Well there was one other thing, but that is for his inner thoughts only. **

**His overall goal is to beat Echizen Ryoma and then claim him. Yes he's already decided to make Echizen his bride. Even though they haven't said anything, Akaya has a feeling that Yukimura, Yanagi and Niou, might suspect as much. And as for Sanada well he'll just have to learn to share. **

**Yes that's right, he saw the way Sanada looked at Echizen, and decided it wouldn't be so bad, since Sanada was his first any way. None of his sempai know, not even Yukimura although knowing the genius boy who was blessed by God, he probably already figured it out. **

**And all though he could be rather possessive when it came to Sanada, lately he was just a little bit more possessive a Yanagi. Yanagi insists that he and the former captain are just close friends, but Akaya knows better, because he knows Yanagi better than the data guy knows himself.**

**Despite his words, Akaya also knows that Sanada is no longer 100% invested in his relationship with Yukimura, but he doesn't break it off because he does not fancy being Yukimura's enemy.**

**So much drama, at times it gives Akaya a headache, but really he can survive a few headaches if it will help him get Echizen.**

**Then there's the Hyotei captain, Akaya doesn't really know what to make of Atobe, he doesn't really know much about him but hey the guy was nice enough to take him to see Echizen so he's acceptable.**

**Eventually Kirihara decides that he will go track down Echizen, the boy couldn't have gone that far, he will find him and then make his dreams come true.**

**Back to Sanada and Atobe.**

"**This was not how Ore-sama wanted things to go."**

**Sanada nods.**

**The two discuss Echizen's odd behavior.**

**They want Echizen back in Japan. And not just so they can have someone to play tennis with, no they want him back for him.**

**So yeah basically it'll become a SanadaAtobeKiriharaRyoma sort of story. It was meant to be short, but …yeah…**

**()()**


	17. Chapter 17

KUROSAKI

005 The Disciplinary Committee Welcome You

(companion chapter to: Simple life for Berry? I think Not!)

"Rukia where the hell are you taking me? Let go!"

"No can do Ichigo, now stop being stubborn and come."

With a rather sharp tug on his left arm, Ichigo found himself being dragged down the school hallways by his newly acquired girlfriend.

Rukia wasn't like most chicks. She didn't spend 2 and 1⁄2 hours getting ready for a date. She didn't faint at the sight of blood. She didn't go into restaurants and order just a salad and a glass of water and then excuse herself to go throw up in the bathroom.

She didn't think much of reptiles (like his Iguana, Zangetsu) but she never could bring herself to attack him. She could be just as sour as she was sweet. Just as loud as she was soft spoken. She had a lovely singing voice but couldn't read music to save her life. And she was demanding as all hell but he wouldn't have her any other way.

Still…

Ichigo didn't appreciate being pulled along like some damn dog on a leash. Nor did he enjoy being looked at like some kind of sideshow freak at a damn circus.

"Rukia people are beginning to stare."

The girl snorted with amusement but did not release her hold on him rather she quickened her pace.

They were practically jogging now.

It was ridiculous.

Ichigo scowled. Honestly what the hell had he done to deserve this kind of treatment and just where the hell was Rukia taking—oh?

Almost abruptly they stopped in front of a closed door. Not just any door. But the door leading to that place.

"Tada!"

"What the hell do you mean Tada?"

Rukia seemed so pleased with herself. Her silver-blue irises sparkled and her smile was so radiant, Ichigo felt the corners of his mouth begin to twitch into a smile of his own.

"Welcome to the Disciplinary Committee!" her tone was filled with pride.

"Rukia, I told you I have no interest in joining your ridiculous committee."

She pouted "Oh but come on Ichigo I promise it will be a lot of fun and because I like you so much," she paused, let go of his hand and reached into her back pack and produced a fluffy bright pink and white fadora hat with bunny ears on it, "I'll let you wear Chappy."

"I don't want to wear that th—

The sound of the door creaking open cut Ichigo off mid sentence.

"Ah Kurosaki you're finally here, I'm so glad. Please come on in we have much to discuss."

BBOB BBOB BBOB BBOB

Upon entering the room Ichigo noticed 3 things: One) It was an absolute pig sty. Mountains of garbage littered the floor and desks (empty pizza boxes, milk cartons, chewing gum wrappers, used Kleenexes, Styrofoam cups, you name it. Two) There was a freaking monkey sitting in the window scratching itself. Three) Every single wall seemed to be decorated with photographs or poorly drawn pictures of foxes and rabbits.

"Don't you just love it?"


	18. Chapter 18

**As the president of Aka-Zine it was Pein's duty to pull his drowning company back out from under the water…**

"**The Akatsuki is going out of business. **

**In this day an age no one wants to read or buy magazines anymore. They have the internet and other such things, so I have gathered you all here in the hopes that we can come up with a way to get our fans back. Let's go around the table, Hidan you go first…"**

"**We could convince them by using the methods of Jashin-sama."**

"**No let's try to think of something a little less violent, Kakuzu how about you?"**

"**Blood money. The old ways of the Yakuza."**

"**Out of the question. Now that one of our own is pregnant with a child I will not have blood on my hands. Tobi any ideas?"**

"**Tobi is a good boy."**

"**Yes, yes is a good boy. Now ideas?"**

"**Theme park?"**

"**Theme park hmm, better but no. Alright Deidara you've always been known for your artistic vision what can we do to bring our fans back to Aka-Zine?"**

"**Models, yeah."**

"**Models, hmm you might be on the right track. I suppose having a few more female members in our ranks would be a good idea. Sasori you're next."**

"**Puppets or rather models dressed like puppets, fairy tale theme perhaps?"**

"**You're all a bunch of idiots! What we need is a poster boy not some plastic blow up bubble whore!"**

"**Poster boy," a snort, "I certainly hope this dickwad isn't referring to what I think he is."**

"**And if I am?"**

"**I'm not gonna become so fairy promoter."**

**A sneer "No you'll just go to sleazy motels and fuck some random twink into the mattress!"**

"**What's the matter? Jealous?"**

"**Hardly."**

"**Hidan! Kisame! That is enough." A sigh "Itachi I know I can always count on you for the best ideas. How should we go about tracking down this poster boy?"**

"**No need. He's already here."**

**A suitcase? Several brows were raised.**

**/Bang! Bang! Bang!/**

"**Hey let me out of here you pocky addicted bastard!"**

"**What on eart-**

**More banging and a teenage boy with sunshine blond hair and blue eyes tumbled out of the large suitcase-**

"**Itachi you-**

"**Meet Uzumaki Naruto, the only son to the infamous Namikaze Minato."**

"**Kids got some spunk! I'll give him that but wouldn't it be wise to have a poster boy whose a little more-?"**

"**Poised?"**

"**Classy?"**

"**Intelligent?"**

"**HEY!"**

"**I assure you Naruto-kun is more than capable for this job."**

"**Hmph well the brat does have some pretty baby blues, it could work."**

"**Well put I wouldn't mind breaking him in a little first though…," a leer "With permission of course."**

"**Tobi is a good boy."**

"**Will someone shut this retard up!"**

"**Hidan, language!"**

"**Hmph so what now?"**

**All the members of Aka-zine looked at their leader expectantly.**

**There was a moments pause and then Deidara spoke up once again.**

"**Something is missing."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Well just think about it. For every blond there should be a brunet or something, yeah?"**

"**What are you suggesting that Naru-chan needs a companion?"**

"**A companion? Who gives a fuck about shit like that when he's just gonna stand there and look cute. Its not like he's gonna work on the magazine."**

"**Wait Deidara does have a point. Nowadays pairs attract more attention then just one lonely little lamb."**

"**I'm not a lamb you crazy bastards and when my father hears about this your ass is g-**

"**Hush Naruto-kun."**

**The blond pouted.**

"**Aww that's kinda sweet, he like obeyed you, yeah."**

"**Gentleman we're losing focus here. Now let's review. The company is drowning and in order to regain our previous popularity we've agreed to a poster boy. Now what's our next step?"**

**The doors slammed open**

"**I'm very glad you asked president because it just so happens that I have the answer."**

"**Kisame what is your nephew doing here?"**

"**He's my younger half brother, actually."**

**An eye roll "Your half brother, fine whatever why is he here?"**

"**Aww don't be that way Prez I'm about to make Aka-zine bigger than it's ever been."**

**()()**

**The idea was never a solid one. I wanted to do an AU featuring the Akatzuki members working for a big company like a magazine corporation or something…Naruto was supposed to be there main star/model…and yeah anyway…this was basically a flop.**

**Moving on…**

**()()()**

**Unrequited is the new LOVE**

**Naruto loves Sasuke but Sasuke dreams of being with Itachi and Itachi…**

**()()**

"**If you hurt Naruto-kun or break him in anyway then you can forget about being my foolish little brother, you are dead to me."**

**Sasuke is not only heartbroken and jealous he's confused. Just why the hell is Itachi so gaga over the dobe for?**

**He just doesn't get it!**

**He cares about the blond obviously but he'd really rather not be with Naruto anymore. He'd rather be with Itachi and preferably with his head between the older raven's legs…bringing his Aniki to the edge and beyond but every time even in his fantasies, Sasuke is denied.**

**As Itachi's dark ruby eyes stab into him like daggers before throwing him to the floor like a dog and then leaving the room with a flourish he's had from the cradle. Sasuke is left feeling a stupid little boy.**

**It's just not fair!**

**()()**

**Sasuke is foolish. If he doesn't watch himself someone might just snatch Naruto-kun away. Naruto-kun is a creature unlike any other, a creature that Sasuke does not properly cherish. True the blond in is a bit naïve in the matters of love but he's not a total and complete idiot. **

**Itachi firmly believes that Naruto-kun would burn brighter if the opportunity knocks. He feels that the boys' fire is dulled by his attachment to Sasuke. **

**Not that it is entirely Sasuke's fault…he and Naruto-kun used to be perfectly happy up until Madara poisoned Sasuke's mind with thoughts of incest.**

**()()**

**If someone asked Naruto what are the three things/people he couldn't live with out the blond would be able to answer with out missing a beat.**

**Ramen. Running. Being right underneath Sasuke.**

**Not necessarily in this order.**

**And even if it was all of Naruto's favorite things would tie back to Sasuke anyway.**

**When Naruto first met Sasuke it was in a grocery store and he was shopping with his mom. **

**When Naruto worked up the courage to ask the raven Sasuke suggested that they go to a ramen stand all because he knew it would make the blond happy. **

**Last year during the Christmas holiday Sasuke surprised Naruto with 12 crates filled with ramen in order to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. 1 a day until the 25****th****.**

**Naruto was so damn excited he nearly pissed himself with glee when Sasuke announced that he was joining the track team. Naruto loved running but his teammates/fellow runners weren't much of a challenge…that all changed when Sasuke challenged him. Sasuke was his friend. Sasuke was his lover. Sasuke was his rival.**

**As for being underneath Sasuke…well there is no other place the blond would rather be.**

**Of course he enjoys just being around or beside Sasuke as well but during the spring time he's like a horny little fox and sex with the Uchiha is pretty much the only thing on his mind.**

**A close runner up would be marriage. Yes he's well aware that it is only legal in certain parts of the world but details like that simply don't matter to him.**

**Sasuke is Naruto's number one everything. There is not a day or night or hour or minute that goes by that the blond feels differently towards his raven-haired love.**

**Naruto believes that Sasuke is his soul mate. He cannot even begin to imagine what life with out the anti-social boy at his side.**

**Sure the guy can be a bit of crab ass from time to time but what human isn't? **

**()()**

**Sasuke grows more and more impatient with Naruto's whines and pants. Sometimes Sasuke thinks about putting some sort of gag or muzzle around the dobe's mouth. Or maybe a bag? Whichever.**

"**Hurry up and come Dobe," it is a command and Sasuke's eyes are filled with irritation but the blond is too far gone and lost in the daze of lust and love to notice.**

**Sasuke is ready to bang his head on something. Maybe the shock of being unconscious will bring the dumbass out of his daze.**

**Afterall Naruto can't stand to see Sasuke in pain. The blond once said that 'If you're in pain Sasuke then I feel your pain.' Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean?**

**Sasuke didn't care much about pain or hearts or feelings or whatever bullshit Naruto shouted or preached. **

**Perhaps he should just reach for the gun lying in the 3 drawer of his dresser drawer and off himself? Put an end to all his misery. Put an end to the façade.**

**Sasuke realized that if he should decide to follow through with it he'd have to be clever and crafty and plan things out carefully. Couldn't let on what he was doing until it was too late.**

"**What's on your mind Sasuke?"**

**The blond's pants are dying down now-his breathing is evening out-sweat is dripping from his previously spiky blond locks of hair-his cheeks are flushed-mouth moist-a soft smile which make his ocean blue eyes crinkle at the corners-**

**There was a time when Sasuke thought he loved Naruto's mouth. A time when Sasuke believed he loved the unruly texture of the dobe's hair-loved the way the smaller boy curled around him…**

**Sasuke knows better now though. Good ole uncle Madara has set him straight. The purest form of love and ecstasy can only be achieved from ones one blood line-there was no one as close to him-no one who meant as much to him as Itachi.**

"**So good teme, so damn good!"**

**The blond is full on grinning at him now. Sasuke has no choice but to return the grin.**

**Naruto hugs him closely for a few more minutes-then none too gently shows him off-bunching the sheets around his naked body and slipping into his house shoes he declares "Damn I'm starved-Ramen my love where are you!"**

**Sasuke can hear the sounds of pots and pans banging and cabinets opening and closing. He moves to the edge of the bed and let's out a sigh. He can hear the faint sound of humming now…the dobe is in a good mood.**

**It's too much. Enough is enough. Sasuke can't let this continue on anymore.**

**Naruto might be annoying but he's still Naruto and deep down he has no real desire to hurt the blond but this charade will only hurt both of them in the end.**

**()()**

**Naruto, remains completely oblivious and dances around the kitchen as he awaits the meal of KINGS.**

**The phone rings.**

**The blond puts it on speaker phone. **

"**Fox-face!"**

**It's dog breath. **

"**What's cooking Kiba? Oh yeah that's right its me, anyway what can I do for you?"**

**A laugh "Well for starters you can open the front door."**

"**Why should I open the door for someone who didn't even show up for my party on Friday?"**

"…**I was rescuing Hinata from her over protective father."**

**An eye roll. "Fine, fine come in but you owe me."**

**()()**

**And who knows where I planned to take it from there? I don't recall anymore.**

**Next…**

**It's true that Sasuke and Naruto are my favorites…pairing and as individuals but I have a lot of love for Kiba too…**

**()()**

**Throw the dog a bone**

**Dude it's my turn?**

**Seriously?**

**Sweet!**

**What's up! It's been awhile since we chatted and I'm sorry if I righteously pissed you off but what can I say? Your boy Kiba is a busy man.**

**Oh wait this isn't the Pound chat room? Damn and here I thought (huffs) Oh well then I guess I'll just have to start out fresh.**

**Names Kiba. I'm just your average teenage guy who tends to flex his muscles a little too much (But hey the ladies love it, so harm done!)**

**Oh wait! This isn't 1-800 G-DENS either? Damn okay that means-wait exactly what the hell is this?**

**Oh a journal? Well why didn't you say so in the first place?**

**Growl.**

**Don't mind him. That's just Akamaru. My lifelong companion. The single greatest dog on the planet.**

**Arf!**

**That's my boy!**

**Growl.**

"**Oh hey easy there I didn't mean it like that-geez boy you know Kiba would never-down boy, good Akamaru!"**

**Arf!**

"**Good boy-here's a Kaze-snack!"**

**(Pats Akamaru on the head)**

**Okay no that that's settled let's get on with the introductions.**

**So anyway as I said first name Kiba. Last name Inuzuka. Yeah quite the mouthful-that's what she said. **

**A leer.**

**Anyway so I take you've been watching Foxy's page and know all the basics…let's jump**

**Right so okay Foxy was right I sort of do have a lover. But we're not like real serious or nothing. We just fool around. You know I pat his belly and he pats mine. I lick his….ahem forget that last part-don't give me that look I mean hell I barely even know you!**

**Back to what I was saying…**

**Foxy often teases me about my mysterious lover. And yeah I guess he is kinda mysterious in a way but hell that's how I like it. **

**But since you're here I might as well tell you what I wouldn't even tell Foxy.**

**My lover?**

**Yeah he has a name. Kankuro. Don't fucking call him a kangaroo you ignorant son of-you wanna knuckle sandwich? KANKU-FUCKING-RO is his name and don't you forget it!**

**Erm yeah anyway so we met at a comic book convention sometime during the middle of last summer.**

**Don't say it! Don't you dare even think about calling me a comic book geek or I swear I'll-**

**(Clears throat)**

**Eh? Yeah er right maybe I overreacted a bit but can you really blame me? I mean a guy like me liking comic books-if word got out every computer and science geek with in a ten-block radius would come knocking at my damn door and (shudders) do I really have to finish my sentence?**

**You get where I'm going with this doncha?**

**Sure you do.**

**So there I was standing in a long ass fucking line waiting for the latest edition of "Comrades Go Commando" when all of a sudden the most sizzlin' piece of cranberry colored ass walks right past me-his sister wasn't too bad either.**

**And so the story goes your boy Kiba made it his mission to find out anything and everything about Cranberry. **

**I knew this guy could quite possibly be my soul mate one day. **

**I was wrong on that account I don't think Kank will ever settle down but heh, we're still young so anything could happen.**

**That's all for now…get the fuck out and don't let the door hit you on the way out-til next time or never**

**~KIBA~**

**LOL**

**What's not to love about Kiba? I mean really he's so damn…gah love it!**


	19. Chapter 19

I do not own BLEACH and I never will.

_**On with the story**_

_**KUROSAKI**_

_**006**_

_**To be like other girls **_

_**Kurosaki Karin has never been like other girls. Even as a young child she was not one to play with "the pretty pink pony" and "mommy's makeup"**_

_**She did not wear fancy dresses or colorful ribbons in her hair. While her twin played dress up and tea party, she rolled around in the grass with the family dog and tackled bullies in the playground—not caring if her hands got scraped up or scared.**_

_**Kicking a soccer ball was second nature to her, kicking anything that rolled was second nature to her.**_

_**She had no dreams of being a dancer or a cheerleader. No desire to wear a white dress and heels.**_

_**And she had absolutely zero interest in boys.**_

_**But Hitsugaya Toshirou is no boy—not in the typical sense anyway.**_

_**Karin watched Toshirou—she can't be certain of his age (nor does she really care since he is most likely the same age as she is, perhaps a few months older)**_

_**The boy is a prodigy, that much she gathers, for only a prodigy could manage his own company at the age of 13 (yes 13 feels like a good number to her)**_

_**His hair is a rather odd color, not quite blond but closer to white—if she's going to be completely honest with herself—its not white either, the shade is almost alien.**_

_**His eyes, they remind her of icicles—the very same icicles Yuzu loves to collect in the winter months.**_

_**Karin didn't honestly know what it was about Hitsugaya Toshirou, didn't know why he had captured her attention, why she felt the desire and need to stop by and watch him everyday after soccer practice.**_

_**Watch him from across the street.**_

_**Watch him sit by the window inside the tiny café and chat with a girl—a girl who wore ribbons in her hair.**_

_**A girl who tucked her hand underneath her dainty chin.**_

_**A girl who smiled at him delicately.**_

_**And Karin, would (like clockwork) berate herself for not being that girl.**_

_**For not having natural rosy-tinted cheeks, for not dressing in long skirts and silk blouses—blouses in bright girly colors of pink, lilac and baby blue.**_

_**The kind of girl who sat with her legs crossed, who chewed each and every morsel of food slowly. The kind of girl who captured **__**his**__** undivided attention.**_

_**It wasn't impossible—she would make it happen.**_

_**She was a Kurosaki and if she wanted Hitsugaya Toshirou, she would get him!**_

_**She just needed to get a little help from her real life fairy godmother.**_

"_**Fairy" being the key word here.**_

"_**Yumi-san, it's Karin, um if you're not to busy do you think you can meet me for a cup of—**_

_**She couldn't say coffee or tea—that just wasn't her!**_

"_**-hot cocoa?"**_

_**Yes it was not the season for cocoa but she wasn't like other girls so if she wanted cocoa in the middle of July she would have it!**_

_**And Yumi-san knew this because Yumi-san knew everything.**_

()()()()()()

_**Kurosaki Yuzu wished to be something more.**_

_**While she felt no desire to be rich or famous (wealth had very little meaning to a girl like her, a daughter of a retired tennis pro and a—well she wasn't sure what it was her father did but suffice to say: Money was not an issue)**_

_**Fame? Fame did not hold much appeal for her either—she had seen what "fame" had done to her mother.**_

_**And Yuzu felt no desire to go down that same path—but if that was the only way to get Hanatarou-kun to **__**really**__** look at her?**_

_**Then she would do it!**_

_**Yamada Hanatarou was a sweet boy, a bit shy, a little clumsy, didn't have the greatest fashion sense—but she liked him.**_

_**As did every other girl in her choir class.**_

_**Every other girl who appeared to be maturing faster than her—well in the physical sense anyway—she couldn't say much for their brains**_

_**Assuming they had brains—that is**_

"_**Hanatarou-kun perhaps you could come over to my house this afternoon and we could practice together?"**_

"_**Oh Hanatarou I seem to have forgotten my music book, could I share with you?"**_

"_**Oh my Hanatarou-kun, it seems I have tripped right into your lap, oops how silly of me!"**_

_**It made Yuzu sick to her stomach.**_

_**Hanatarou was a rare gem—her rare gem.**_

_**She was the one who had ensured he had received a warm welcoming into the choir club.**_

_**She was the one who had found him and brought him to the choir room in the first place.**_

_**So it is only natural, that in order to repay her, he should want her in return.**_

_**But NO!**_

_**He'd much rather sit there like the clueless little bunny (he so wasn't) and let that stupid foreign half-wit sit in his lap, pet the side of his hair—**_

"_**Yuzu-chan you're bleeding!"**_

_**Yuzu barely registered the sound of Rinrin-senpai's voice.**_

_**It wasn't until the other girl with a bird like nose shook her that Yuzu finally snapped out of it.**_

"_**You're bleeding, what on earth did you do to yourself!"**_

_**Sweet smile perfectly in place, Yuzu lied.**_

"_**I hit my hand on my bedroom mirror this morning, it bled pretty badly but I didn't have time to properly bandage it, silly isn't it?"**_

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 20

BECAUSE ICHIGO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER, THUS HE GETS MORE PARTS!

**KUROSAKI**

**Bonus Chapter! **

**Because it is a very berry world every one else just lives in it!**

"**Don't you just love it?"**

**No he did not love it. Who could love a disaster like this? Hell—how could they even accomplish anything with all this mess?**

"**Have a seat Kurosaki."**

"**No thanks, I'll stand."**

"**Ichigo, do I have to bring out Chappy to force you?"**

"**Fine. I'll sit. Just put that **_**thing**_** away."**

**Rukia grinned and placed the garish hat on top of the boys' head much to his displeasure. She then turned to the president of the Disciplinary Committee "Kira-san, he refuses to join, I've tried everything I could think of."**

"**Calm down Rukia-san and it's Izuru, remember?"**

"**Right, Izuru, well anyway Ichigo here, is being stubborn."**

**Blue eyes turned to the orange haired youth "Is this true, Kurosaki-kun?"**

"**It's Ichigo and yes I have no desire to join, sorry."**

"**Ichigo-kun would it be too much of me to ask why you are so against being a part of our Committee?"**

"**He thinks its stupid and boring," Rukia interjected.**

**Kira Izuru felt his left brow twitch underneath his blond bangs, he covered it up with a tight smile "Rukia san could you do me a favor and take these papers down to vice-principal Unohana?" He handed the girl a stack of bright neon orange flyers with a stenciled trio of a rabbit, fox and monkey on it.**

**Rukia recognized the flyers right away—her large silver blues grew larger "Is this—?**

"**Well nothing is official yet but vice-principal Unohana agreed to at least look at them."**

**Perhaps it was curiosity on his part, but Ichigo found himself wondering aloud just what the both of the committee members were referring to "What are you talking about?"**

**Rukia immediately slapped her hand on top of the flyers and blew a raspberry at her boyfriend.**

**Ichigo did not appreciate having anyone spit in his face but because it was Rukia—he'd let it slide.**

"**Rukia-san, those papers won't deliver themselves you know?"**

"**Oh what's the big rush anyway? Can't I just go after we convince Ichigo to join?"**

**Judging by the look on Izuru's face, the answer to that was a flat – NO!**

**Rukia pouted but rose to her feet (stack of papers in hand) she turned to Ichigo "I'll be back before you can say rabbits." She (thankfully) pulled the stupid hat off his head and placed it on her own.**

"**Why don't you make quick like a rabbit, Rukia-san?"**

**Rukia put her hand on her hip (it was amazing how she could manage that and balance papers at the same time) and sneered at the blond "You know you're being awfully snooty today, Kira-san."**

**Izuru sniffed in a very snooty manner as if to prove the girls point "Yes and you've been awfully lazy lately but hey who am I to judge?"**

**Rukia was most unhappy with this retort but she wasn't about to start an argument with an upper classman—"Fine I'll just leave the convincing Ichigo to join up to you then,**_** president**_**," the last part was hissed. **

**Ichigo found it rather strange for Rukia to act so totally and completely out of character. It wasn't like her to walk around with her nose in the air. Nor was it in her nature to knock someone right out of their chair, just before exiting the room (much like she'd just done to Izuru.)**

**The again (Ichigo reminded himself) he'd only known Rukia for a little over a month—what did he know?**

"**Are you alright Kira-san?" (Mother raised him well) Ichigo helped the blond to his feet, briefly noting the older boys' bizarre choice of stockings (silver foxes)**

"**I'm fine, just a little surprised is all."**

"**Yeah me too. I mean I've never seen Rukia act that way, it was kind of—**

"**Oh I wouldn't worry about it, its probably a woman thing, you know how they can be?"**

**The blond smoothed his hair back into place and sat down "You know Kurosaki, it occurs to me that we've never really had a chance to talk."**

"**It's Ichigo and no I suppose we haven't."**

**Kira scooted his chair closer to the orange haired boy and placed his hands on top of the others' **

**Gazing into younger boys eyes with only one real thought in mind "We should make up for lost time then, don't you agree?"**

**The with out further warning, the blond crawled into Ichigo's lap and straddled him "This is rather a nice way to start, isn't it?" **

**Kira's tone was playful as he wrapped his arms around the younger teens' neck and attacked Ichigo's mouth with far greater intensity then he usually displayed to any one else.**

_**Wait! Wait a damn minute here—why the hell am I just sitting here and letting this guy practically rape my mouth?**_

_**Could I possibly li—**_

**Ichigo refused to complete that train of thought as he shoved the blond off of him. He felt a little guilty for being so violent but in his defense—"Look I don't know what you think you were doing just now Kira-san, Izuru-san or whatever you prefer to be known as but I—mph!"**

**In the mind of Kira Izuru, little foxes danced around circles and sang a tune "Catch a berry, catch a berry, Catch that berry!"**

_**Yes I must catch myself a berry, this berry, albeit this particular berry seems to be a bit short tempered but hey—I wouldn't want a weak bitch any way—**_

**Ichigo struggled effortlessly against the surprisingly tight grip the blond now had on his wrists.**

**Izuru grinned against his berry's mouth**

_**I sure do love the feisty ones.**_

"**I'm back they didn't have the ch—Izuru you bastard! What's the big idea moving in on Ichigo while I was gone huh?"**

**Ichigo couldn't believe his ears—no way could that be-?**

**He let out a sigh of Relief? Disappoint? He really wasn't quite sure at the moment when it seemed the older blond had finally come to his senses and pulled away from him.**

**The blond wiped his mouth and addressed the new comer "You already had your chance earlier Abarai, this morning in fact."**

"**Oh **_**please **_**like what did you expect me to like grab Ichigo and take him right there in the middle of homeroom!"**

"**Wait a minute! What the fuck are you-?**

"**You'll have to forgive Abarai, Ichigo-kun, he has yet to learn to how to separate his brain from his ass."**

"**Bastard! Stop trying to gain brownie points by acting all intellectual and stuff!"**

"**It's hardly an act, I naturally have a 4.0 GPA."**

"**Yeah, yeah whatever you're lucky I'm a nice guy or else I might just sic Zabi on you."**

**"Empty threats will not get you any closer to the berry, Abarai."**

"**I know that pretty boy!" Renji flipped his long bright cherry red braid over his shoulder (a sign that he was irritated) "But can't we just stick to the original plan?"**

"**Original plan? What original plan and stop looking at me like that!"**

"**Aw you're so cute when you're all pissy, Ichigo." The redhead advanced towards the shorter boy.**

"**Renji if you even think of touching me I'll kick you so hard you'll be pissing out of your ass for the rest of your life!"**

"**That's what I love about you Ichigo," the redhead grinned and closed the distance them. **

**He could practically taste the berry's breakfast.**

**(**_**Mm pancakes and strawberry syrup)**_

**What the hell was wrong with everyone? And since was Renji into him? Last Ichigo had heard, the redhead had it pretty bad for Rukia's personal hairdresser, Nemu.**

"**For heaven sakes Abarai, could you kindly not slobber all over the berry and scar him for life?" The blond lectured as he pulled the other two males apart.**

"**Now then Ichigo-kun before we go any further I need to ask a question. Are you familiar with the term anal sex?"**

"**Anal s—what the fuck—look Renji, Kira-san, this is not funny! In fact I could have both of you arrested and charged with assault but—Ichigo pulled at the collar of his shirt (seems mother had starched it again) "I don't care if you two are gay lovers or whatever but leave me out of it!"**

**Ichigo used their dumbfounded expressions so he could make a quick exit.**

**Nearly crashing into Rukia as he did so—**

"**Ichigo what the-?**

"**No time to talk, just run!" This time she was the one who was unceremoniously dragged through the hallways.**

"**Ichigo what's wrong with you? Why are we running? Hey slow down for a minute and talk to me."**

**He ignored the girls' protests and questioning—he did not stop until they reached the opposite end of the building.**

"**Ichigo what the hell was that all about?"**

"**Nothing." Ichigo offered the girl a smile "Nothing at all, let's just," he grabbed her hands and twined them closely together with his own "Let's just skip the rest of the day and go shopping or something."**

"**Shopping?"**

"**Or to the movies, yes the movies, that sounds a lot better. Complete darkness, just you me and the projectionist—we could probably get a discount or even get in for free."**

"**Free?"**

"**I didn't mention it before? I have a friend, Keigo, he can be a really annoying idiot at times but he's a good guy and I've known him pretty much forever."**

"**Um alright what kind of movie would you like to see?"**

"**Uh something with blood and guts and hey how about zombies?"**

**Rukia looked at her boyfriend. She'd never seen him act so incredibly excited about anything—let alone some flesh eating zombies. Perhaps Kira had convinced him to join, made him see just how much fun they could all have together? **

"**Yeah zombies or witches might be cool too."**

"**I'm afraid that will be impossible, Kurosaki."**

_**Not now. Haven't I gone through enough for one day?**_

**Ichigo scowled at the new comer while Rukia smiled warmly as she greeted the other person.**

"**Afternoon, Ishida."**

"**Don't you have something better to do like pass out your little detention slips to delinquents instead of stalking us?"**

**Rukia slapped the rude orange haired boy on the shoulder "Ichigo, don't be so mean!" she scolded.**

"**Hn. Interesting you should bring up slips, may I see your hall passes, Kuchiki-san, Kurosaki?"**

"**Don't have one, it's a free period," Ichigo lied.**

"**Hmph," Ishida shuffled through his ridiculously large binder (heavily decorated in a strange mixture of floral patterns and Celtic crosses, almost as though he hadn't been able to decide on a theme and wound up using both in the end) for a few minutes "Ah ha here it is," he looked up and met the orange haired boys' brown gaze "According to this paper—it says that **_**you**_** should be in art class and Kuchiki-san should be in science. Nowhere on here does it list either one of you having a free period. Care to explain?"**

"**Look Ishida we don't have time for this, so if you're going to write me a detention slip do it so I can be on my way."**

"**You've just earned yourself a weeks detention for cheek."**

**Ichigo snorted, "Way to abuse your power."**

**Ishida smirked "If only you **_**knew**_** the real power I possess."**

"**Right," sometimes Ishida was beyond fucking weird "Come on Rukia, let's go!"**

"**What's that Chappy?—You think think Ichigo should apologize to Ishida?"**

_**What the hell? Does Rukia really believe an inanimate object can hold a conversation with her?**_

**Ichigo found himself starting to question his girlfriends' sanity. The thought made him frown.**

'_**Maybe mother has a point.'**_

"**What's that Chappy? You think Ichigo is too embarrassed to apologize to me and I should probably give him and Ishida some time alone to sort things out? Great idea!"**

**Silver blues met cinnamon brown "Ichigo, I'll see you later okay?"**

"**What? But what about the movies?"**

"**We can go to the movies on the weekend or something—right now you need to the right thing, be the bigger man and apologize. Ishida is a reasonable person he'll hear you out."**

"**Rukia I don't w—**

"**Shhh! Chappy and I believe in you Ichigo. We know you can do this." She placed a light kiss on his cheek and walked away.**

"**Whatever." Ichigo turned to Ishida "Are you done writing my damn detention slips?"**

"**Not quite," Ishida pushed his glasses up higher on to the bridge of his nose "If you'll follow me down to the supply room I can finish writing the slips and you will be free to go on your way."**

"**Fine, lead the way."**

**BBOB BBOB BBOB BBOB**

"**You know Kurosaki you really should learn to stop being so trusting—it will only lead into trouble."**

"**What the hell are you talking about Ishida? And why the hell is it so damn dark in here?"**

"**Light won't be necessary Kurosaki, just sit down," (with these words Ichigo felt himself being pushed down on to what felt like a desk "Relax," Was Ishida purring? WTF? **

**Yes he was purring. All part of his plan to distract Kurosaki, so he wouldn't be able to notice the various strips of cloth he now held in his hands (not that it was likely the said boy could even see anything since it was quote "so damn dark in here" Still Ishida wouldn't take any chances. He hadn't sat through an hour of his father's lectures for nothing. **

**Before Ichigo could fully register what was being done, his arms were bound together and his legs were spread wider than he'd usually like.**

"**Any enjoy."**

**He really hoped that wasn't the sound of **_**his**_** zipper being pulled down.**

**Really hoped Ishida wasn't about to—**

"**FUCK!"**

**BBOB BBOB BBOB BBOB**


	21. Chapter 21

Let's continue with the uncompleted collection shall we?

Disclaimer: I DO NOT NOR WILL I EVER OWN BLEACH

KUROSAKI

007

Father, Husband, Idiot Round 1

Kurosaki Isshin was a proud father of 5. And he felt no shame in admitting this.

No shame in showing off his perfect children to the mail man, his secretary, the bartender, his colleagues, everyone and anyone that he would come across.

His children were his pride and joy. Without them he would not be half the man he is today.

And none of that would be possible without his lovely and also perfect wife, Masaki.

The single most amazing woman he'd ever set his eyes on.

Sweeping her off her perfect size 6 feet had not been an easy task. It had been (if he was going to be completely honest with himself) nearly impossible.

When he first met Masaki all those years ago, she'd been completely and 100 percent focused on her tennis career. Had zero interest in him or anyone else who had wished to date her.

She was way out of his league—or so he had been led to believe up until the night he saw her swimming.

Swimming in the pool in his backyard.

She had been like a mermaid, her bronze and red colored hair falling down her toned shoulders in perfect wet waves. Her skin, soft, peach toned, shining in the moonlight.

Technically he should have called security, should have had her removed from his property—okay so it hadn't been his property per say but his parents had been out of town and—

The way her eyes danced when she had finally spotted him—there was no way he could ignore that—no way he could turn away and pretend she wasn't there.

But he hadn't had her arrested either, rather he had—

"I've got a couch with your name on it, if you'd like to s—

He hadn't been able to complete his sentence for she had smacked him clear across the face and stormed off.

Or so he had been led to believe.

What his beautiful Masaki had really done was—something he never would have expected.

She had broken into the house (no technically it wasn't breaking in since he had left the door wide open)

Tiny little insignificant facts like that did not matter—once she had slipped into the house, swiped the keys off of the counter, she went around back to the garage.

Approached his prized motorcycle (freshly washed and polished)

No she hadn't come around like some nut job and crashed the bike into the pool—hadn't crashed it into the house

No Masaki had simply hopped on and driven off into the night "catch me if you can" playful taunt dancing in the wind.

A smile had broken onto his face as he said to himself

'There goes my future bride'

"Kaa-chan, the old man is spacing out again, can I kick him?"

"Only if I can join in."

"Hey now is that any way to treat your loving f—OW!"

"What an idiot, didn't even bother blocking. Hey Kaa-chan would it be alright if I—

"Kaa-chan is not here."

"Ichi-nii when did you get home?"

"What's with the scarf King? Didya get a little too wild with that new girlie of yours?"

"Wild? Rukia-chan is a good girl. She would never drag your brother out into the wild."

"IDIOT!"

"Where is Kaa-chan anyway?"

"She's visiting her old team mate."

"Which one?"

"You don't want to know."

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

**3 years ago Isshin walked out on Masaki with out even saying goodbye. One morning Ichigo wakes up to find a large crate sitting outside his bedroom door. Inside the crate is a "doll" who might have the answers to his father's disappearance.**

**But what does "doll" want in return? The berry of course!**

**Warnings: AU Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, selfish!Isshin, some OOC-ness, WIP.**

**Pairings: KenpachixIchigo (NnoitraxIchigo, GrimmjowxIchigo StarrkIchigo, KazeshinixIchigo) Others**

**It starts a little something like this…**

**()()()()**

"**Ichi where the hell are you, we've been waiting for you for over an hour."**

_**Nnoitra sounded irritated. No real surprise there. He hated waiting around for others. Ichigo knew this. And Truth fully the orange haired male had no desire to piss off one of his favorite rival/turned friend.**_

_**But he just couldn't leave the doll sitting there in its box crate all day either. While it might be inanimate, its facial expression was far too real looking—if he just left the doll, he'd feel guilty. Like he was abandoning a kitty or something equal cute and fluffy.**_

_**Not that the doll was cute or fluffy per se but-**_

"**Um about that well you see earlier this morning, I found this crate box sitting outside my bedroom door. It was addressed to me but the person who sent it remains anonymous."**

"**So what does that have to do with anything, get your tight little ass over here before I come over there and drag you out kicking and screaming."**

"**I'd like to see you try."**

"**Are you challenging me? Really Ichi I think you should know better than that."**

_**Typical. Day in Day out. Nnoitra loved to boast about how oh so manly and dangerous he was. And sure he had a bit of a temper—sure he had broken 3 of Ichigo's fingers during their first encounter 5 years ago—sure he didn't always have the best manners, being foul mouthed and all but—**_

_**He also had a soft side. One that very few people got see. Ichigo was one of those rare people.**_

_**The others?**_

_**Nnoitra's roommates. 3 other guys.**_

_**One was raised by a family of Coyotes—hence he took the last name Coyote. The second came from a family of satanic followers, while he himself wasn't satanic, he did have a bit of a nasty streak. The third, ah the third well—**_

**"Pfft you're all talk Nnoitra, besides you love me too much to force me to do anything."**

"**I don't love anyone. Don't make me gag! I'm not some twinkle fairy like you!"**

"**Back off Jiruga! That's MY twinkle fairy you're talking about."**

_**Yes the third—that one was his cousin—six times removed. Like Ichigo himself, the third had alien colored hair.**_

"**I'm no one's twinkle fairy—there's nothing twinkly about me!"**

"**Aw Ichi-baby don't get so defensive, you know Grimm and Nnoi mean nothing by it. We just miss you is all."**

"**Yeah that damn tattoo face and his blond bunny keep snatching you away from us."**

_**Tattoo face and Blond Bunny aka Ichigo's next door neighbors. Next door neighbors who would often propose a threesome.**_

_**Ichigo found it to be highly inappropriate and quite naturally declined every time.**_

"**Bastard! Who the hell said you could talk to MY twinkle fairy?"**

"**He's not your twinkle berry, ya stupid half-breed!"**

"**That's right because Ichi is MINE, isn't that right pet?"**

"**Ha! You just got through saying you didn't even love Ichigo, so why the hell do you get to claim him."**

_**Twinkle fairy? Twinkle berry? Why oh why did his companions choose to give him such stupid nicknames. It irritated the crap out of Ichigo. **_

_**Just because he was shorter and younger than the rest of them—and just because he had a slightly feminine waistline did not make him any less manly than anyone of them. He wiped the floor with all of his male companions plenty of times. Surely that should have taught them something?**_

"**Hey I'm no ones tw—**

"**I'm older and taller and actually KNOW how to use my equipment."**

"**How the hell would you know?"**

"**Yeah it's not like you ever screwed any of us—or better yet let one of us screw you!"**

_**That was just too disturbing to imagine. The idea of his best buds getting it on with one another just was—UGH!**_

_**Thankfully he wasn't the only one who thought so.**_

"**As if ya could! And I wouldn't touch yer hairy blue ass with a ten foot pole Jeagerjaques!"**

"**My ass is not hairy! Not that its any of your business but I wax twice a week."**

"**Oh so you are admitting that it is in fact hairy though?"**

"**Shut the hell up, your pubic hair is long enough to make a full wig out of!"**

"**What the hell do you think you're doing peaking on me in the shower?"**

"**Don't flatter yourself, the only reason I know about your freakin pube forest is because your last woman had a loose tongue when she was drunk off her ass!"**

_**Loose tongue. Drunk of Her Ass. **_

_**That would be Nel.**_

"**Oh you wanna talk exes do ya? Well what about yer last bitch, she was a real prize wasn't she, with her canon pussy."**

_**Bitch. Canon Pussy**_

_**Equals Inoue**_

"**Oh fuck you, I never once shoved my dick in that dirty swamp of hers."**

"**Nice to see you have some brains after all."**

_**It was ridiculous really. Grimmjow did not have a hairy ass! And Nnoitra did not have a wild pubic forest! Both of the men's bodies were so well groomed that they could put the classiest of women to shame. **_

_**Not that Ichigo had checked them out or anything.**_

_**No really he didn't.**_

_**(whistles)**_

"**KNOCK IT OFF!"**

"**Calm down Ichi, you know we wouldn't want any one else but you."**

_**Starrk was definitely the most sensible out of the bunch. But on the other hand, that made him ten times more perverted.**_

_**Not that Ichigo knew or anything.**_

_**It was just—a feeling he had. Behind Starrk's calm, semi-lazy character there lurked an animal.**_

"**Yeah even if it means sharing—I'm sure we can work out some kind of agreement. Tie the our little twinkle berry up real nice—**

_**Kazeshini was a recent addition to their group. He'd only been around for 3 years or so. **_

_**Ironically enough Kazeshini was also the half brother of Ichigo's next door neighbor.**_

_**You'd never know it though since the two looked nothing a like.**_

"**J-Just stop okay! We have or rather I have a serious problem here, so either get your asses over here and help or leave me the fuck alone."**

_**He wasn't completely offended by their obvious attraction to him—he was secretly flattered but right now he had to focus all of his energy on the doll.**_

_**It was possible he might be imagining things but he could've sworn he just heard the doll snort.**_

"**We'll be over in an hour my pretty twinkle berry."**

"**It's twinkle fairy you idiot—and only I can call him that."**

"**You're just jealous because I thought of it first. Twinkle berry is much more fitting than twinkle fairy, he doesn't even have wings!"**

"**Even if he did, he'd still be MINE!"**

"**In your dreams!"**

_**Ichigo let out a sigh and hung up the phone.**_

_**He stood up and shuffled to the opposite end of the room where the crate box still sat.**_

_**He approached the crate carefully, which was rather ridiculous (especially since it was just a doll) but—**_

_**It looked so damn real. Hair, wild and spiky. Zero brow which really just seemed to work well with the eyes which were a deep forest green ringed with gold around the edges. Jagged lines on the face, scars which set off the whole look that the designer of the doll had clearly been going for.**_

**Still what the hell was Ichigo supposed to do with a Life Size Modern Cave Man Doll?**

"**So you gotta name or are you really known as Twinkle B?"**

_**It spoke.**_

_**But how was that even possible?**_

"**Mind backing up a bit Twinkle B? I'd really like to get up and stretch my legs?"**

_**Ichigo blinked.**_

_**Again. It spoke.**_

_**How—**_

"**You're kinda cute with that confused expression Twinkle B."**

_**Oh that was just great. Another pervert. Only this one was a doll, which knowing Ichigo's luck, probably would be worse.**_

_**Oh why did the weirdest shit always have to happen to him?**_

"**If you think scowling at me is gonna make you less attractive, you couldn't be more wrong Twinkle B."**

_**The Doll was tall. Towered Over Ichigo.. And RIDICULOUSLY (**__**HOT!)**__** MUSCULAR. **_

_**Not that there was anything exciting or drool worthy about having a real life—**_

"**Why are you here? No scratch that why are you inside of a crate—No scratch that too. Where the hell is my lousy excuse for an old man?"**

"**Heh, you're pretty bright Twink—**

"**It's Ichigo."**

"**Right Ichigo, well you're pretty bright, when did you figure it out?"**

"**I haven't figured much of anything out yet. But the more I think about it, I at least know one thing, don't really know how or why yet but the stupid goat face had something to do with this I just know it."**

_**Bastard! How dare he even—**_

"**Never mind that! What exactly kind of doll are you? And how is it that you are able to carry on a conversation? Are you part of some new age robo-doll experiment or something?"**

"**I take it from your expression that you don't get along with your old man too well huh?"**

"**My old man is a selfish idiot! He left my mother without even giving her a goodbye kiss. When I see his face again, forget punching I'll kick him so hard it will break in more than one place!"**

"**Hm that bad huh?"**

"**Ya that bad and stop avoiding my questions—how is it your able to—**

_**The doll held up his first finger.**_

**I'm here because I'm sick of the Jungle. **

**The doll held up a second finger.**

**2) I'm in a crate because it's cheaper than airfare.**

**The doll held up a third finger.**

**I'm not your average doll.**

"**What the hell do you mean by that?"**

"**It's complicated."**

"**Try me."**

"**I'm not sure—how old are you?"**

"**I'll be twenty one in July now stop stalling and just tell me!"**

"**It's better for business."**

"**Business?"**

"**It sounds nicer than male escort, that just sounds trashy."**

"**Escort? But didn't you say you came from the Jungle?"**

"**That's the name of the company sponsor."**

"**So what like Jungle Inc or something?"**

"**Something like that."**

"**Wait! But dolls are—or rather escorts are usually more erm uh—**

"**Fair haired? Pink cheeked? More Bony than Brawny?"**

"**Well yeah there's that and—**

"**And?"**

"**Don't dolls or escorts rather—don't they usually dress in more than a pair of erm what are those exactly?"**

_**The material clung to the man's ass much in the way leather would.**_

_**Not that Ichigo was paying attention to the man's ass or anything.**_

"**Buffalo pants."**

"**Buffalo pants? You mean you slaughtered a live animal and turned them into—**

"**No I didn't slaughter anything. This is just what we call them."**

"**Why?"**

"**It's just one of those things."**

"**Um okay so where the hell is my old man and why hasn't he contacted us until now?"**

"**I can't answer that."**

"**Why the hell not?"**

"**It's **

"**Let me guess, it's complicated?"**

_**The doll grinned.**_

"**YEP."**

**TBC**


	23. Chapter 23

DISCLAIMER: Kishimoto owns it all!

Loosely inspired by "Our Most Featured Naruto" …dedicated to Kiba-fans…

A/N Another unfinished fic that I really thought was going to go some where.

Kiba's POV

On the Road with Kiba, Naru and Co…

Road Trips. The Should Do For All Teenagers. But the Absolute Must Do for All Pre-College Students.

Or Forever be known as a lame ass who will never be invited to parties or kegs.

My best buddy Naruto and I were way too awesome to be considered lame. We were the first duo in highschool history to receive the title of Prom King. There was no Queen that year, her father had shipped her off to some unknown destination on the other side of the road.

Anyway we've been (Naruto and I) this trip for months now-marking down all of the spots in which to travel on my too-cool for school hand drawn map.

I wasn't much of an artist but I did have a knack for geography and anything related to it. I'm the kind of guy who can find his way around any city no matter how far from home.

My sense of direction had always been like second nature to me. Only to be topped by my incredible sense of smell.

I could smell the blood on Naruto's split lip even though it had dried up hours ago. I could smell the dirt and grass on his cargo shorts even though there was a hot cup of ramen nestled right between his legs.

Of course this isn't the only thing I could smell and so it came as no real surprise to me when…

"Kiba pull over at the next intersection I gotta take a piss."

I tossed Naruto a plastic bottle conveniently sitting right beneath the foot pedal and said, "Here, piss in this!"

He smiled at me gratefully and moved to unzip his pants…

I've known Naruto for a long time. We met somewhere around the age where kids stop addressing their parents as with respect and call them whatever slips out at the time. At the age were girls' cooties become something more of an afterthought and you stop idolizing your older brother and instead spend every free moment thinking up ways to destroy him.

But seeing as I'm an only child (Older sisters don't count!) and Naruto's brother lies miles and miles away we've never had this sort of problem.

Too bad the same can't be said about a certain rooster-butt head raven whose shall not be named at this time.

Why?

Because the guy is an ass! Nuff said!

A loud resounding smack echoed in the classic '67 Chevy.

"Stupid don't just go and do that when there are ladies present!"

Ah Sakura better known as the Pink Banshee with Gorilla-Man-Fists. Also known as the Girlfriend-Naruto's Girlfriend. They've been off and on for 3 months now and I still don't really known what he sees in her.

I mean sure she's a sweet thing to look at (strawberry pink hair, vanilla cream skin, large rack) but for some reason I just get creeped out whenever she's around. Especially when she's in primo PMS mode.

She gets this crazed look in her laser emerald green eyes and let me tell ya its not pretty.


	24. Chapter 24

**In a world where Shiro can think of nothing better than embarrassing the hell outta Ichigo**

**11 years of age: At a pool party, possibly Ichigo's birthday, Renji chased all the girls away and in the end there was only boys left. Shiro being Shiro decided to liven up the 'dull' pull party and came up with the idea of spin the bottle, one of his neighbors (2-3 years older than him told gave him the idea) and the boys protested that there was no way the could play such a game when all the girls were gone,.**

**Shiro decided since it was Renji's fault that the girls left that he should be the one to kiss Ichigo, since after all from certain angles, with that long pretty cherry red hair, Renji could pass for a girl. Renji of course protested at this, while Ichigo was embarrassed to the extreme, but Shiro didn't care and went on taunting Renji by saying 'Fraid you might like it?'**

**12 years of age: Christmas morning (Ichigo's baachan) sent Ichigo a tutu and ballet slippers, Shiro snickered while Kon stuffed his face with pies and cakes and other sweets and Ichigo cursed his bad luck. His mother who normally did everything she could to make Ichigo happy, didn't do so this time, as she though the idea was rather cute and plus she didn't want to hurt baasan's feelings. Masaki, Isshin and Shiro force Ichigo to wear the ballerina outfit and of course he feels embarrassed, especially when Keigo, Tatsuki and Chado show up five minutes later.**

**13 years of age: Valentine's day, a girl comes up to Ichigo and offers him a valentine, SHIRO comes along shouts in the girls face 'That King would never like an ugly troll like her' and then proceeds to throw Ichigo right on top of one of the upperclassman-the girls runs away crying and apparently off to tell her friends that Ichigo has some nasty virus or something and they'll all catch it if they try to come near him, yeah Ichigo refused to speak to Shiro for 2 months for that one.**

**14 years of age: Ichigo had a really bad cold, and all the girls from his class (Inoue included) brought homemade, soup, cookies and other things to help the boy get better. Shiro, being none to helpful, let the girls' come in right when Ichigo was stepping out of the shower, now it wasn't like Ichigo was naked or anything, no the younger boy had learned to never go around naked when it was just him and Shiro in the house, so he had underwear on, underwear with little yellow duckies on them, yah not very manly. **

**15 years of age: Shiro went even further, wedding, one of their cousins was getting married-Once again Ichigo is stuck in chick clothes since there weren't any tuxes left, and his mother also informs him that they were short on bridesmaids and in order to make things even he would have to fill in a heels and dress. Deciding he likes secretly likes it-perhaps a little too Ichigo comes to his own conclusion that surely he must be gay.**

**16 years of age: Shiro and Kon are short on cash and so they decide the quickest way to make some cash is to parade Ichigo around on town/city dressed in a Alice in wonderland costume. **

**Some people are doubtful, saying that just because he shared his first kiss with some one of the same sex doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. And dancing with another boy and not being disgusted by it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. There was more it, it made a whole lot of sense and was really quite clever when it came, but unfortunately just like most of time the story and explanations left my brain, sighs, better luck next time.**

()()

A minute in time between Echizen and Kirihara

"**Isn't this exciting Echizen-kun?"**

_**Some one please kill me now. **_

**Honestly what the hell had been he been thinking when he agreed to join the Rokkaku tennis team for a day of quote "beachy fun" ?**

**It was all his fathers fault really, anything bad that happened was usually Nanjiroh's fault, some times Ryoga, when his bastard half brother was around that is. But still was it really necessary for this loud being to be so close to him? Ryoma wouldn't be surprised if he'd gone deaf by the end of the day. **

**He let out a sigh, "The things I put up with,"**

**Any way so the group, Ryoma, Aoi, Saeki and others are walking along the beach but whom should they spot but the former champions, Rikkaidai.**

**Of course Kentarou being loud and as friendly as ever just had to shout out a greeting at the group, not that he they paid any attention to the annoying being. **

()()

**Ryoma, glad to be free from Aoi's nagging for a few minutes, decides to celebrate by heading down to the other side of the beach where the fountain stands and soda machines are. On his way there he clashes into someone, not just anyone, Kirihara Akaya, he feels a sense of déjà vu washing over him but shakes it off as being unimportant. **

**He takes a few minutes to right himself and then sizes up the other boy, noting that Kirihara has grown a few more inches since he last saw him, not that it really matters or anything, but did the other boy always look that good?**

**Akaya smirks and before parting says a few choice words to Ryoma, something along the lines of "Next time I see you, I'll complete crush you!"**

**Ryoma, not intimidated in the least, returns the smirk and "Mada Mada Dane"**

**For once though he's more excited at the prospect of seeing the other boy then he is at whipping his ass out on the tennis court again, of course doing both all has it's perks. Ryoma che's he's becoming more and more like his baka oyaji, or maybe more like Ryoga, since it's his half brother whom sent him an entire YAOI collection as a birthday present.**

()()

**Akaya knew he should've listened to his sis when she told him that love was in his weekly horoscope, she'd always had a real talent for that sort of thing. And while he never would've guessed that said love would be one Echizen Ryoma, well he certainly was not complaining, Echizen had certainly filled out in the last couple of years, still shorter than him by a few inches, but nicely toned, just the way Akaya liked his potential love interests. Even when dating girls, Akaya always expected them to have bit more muscle and less curves, not that he didn't enjoy his time with the curvy chicks either, he had, not as a long term thing though. The idea of hugging someone that had more pudge than he did just didn't sit well with him. Not that he had a whole lot of pudge, but he had been one of the few unfortunates to suffer from the freshman 15 curse, and he was still trying to get his body back to what it once was. **

**It was working for the most part, only 8 more pounds to go and he could be considered devilishly sexy again, Niou sempai's words, not his. Now though after seeing Echizen looking like poster boy for (TennisBon-BON) he felt like a fat cow. **

**Doesn't matter because feeling like a fat cow or not, Akaya would have Echizen Ryoma by the end of the year, he vowed to it. **

()()


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: If I OWNED BLEACH-well it would probably become HOT-MAN LOVIN' AND NOTHIN LESS. I am not Kubo-sensei

3 years ago Isshin walked out on Masaki with out even saying goodbye. One morning Ichigo wakes up to find a large crate sitting outside his bedroom door. Inside the crate is a "doll" who might have the answers to his father's disappearance.

But what does the "doll" want in return? The berry of course!

Warnings: AU Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, selfish!Isshin, some OOC-ness, WIP.

A/N why am I writing yet another story? Because there is not enough KenIchi appreciation going around. Correction, this is not enough PROPER KenIchi appreciation going around.

Inspiration comes from BonneNuit (the only one who bothers to read this crap) My Size Barbie and Pinocchio.

Pairings: KenpachixIchigo (NnoitraxIchigo, GrimmjowxIchigo StarrkIchigo, KazeshinixIchigo) Others

LIFESIZE

CHAPTER TWO

_A set of footsteps running up the stairs._

_Fairly light on the landing so it clearly belonged to a female._

_The door to bedroom was pushed open and a girl who appeared to be around the age 14 or 15 stepped inside the room._

_Her hair was short in length and black in color. Eyes dark and wide. _

_She was wearing a red baseball, a white and red striped jersey and blue jeans, which had certainly seen better days._

"Ichi-nii what's all the commotion? Oh I see you got one too."

"What do you mean by that Karin?"

"The dolls. My doll is downstairs right now."

"Downstairs? You mean you're letting a half naked man run around down stairs?"

_Karin was the smart one. Well technically no one in Ichigo's household was dumb but still why had she—it wasn't like her to be so careless._

_He just hoped Yuzu was still away at her ballet practice. He had no idea how he would hide two full grown men from his younger sister—one was bad enough but—_

"Don't be stupid." Karin rolled her eyes. "One it's a female and two, she's dressed."

_A woman? So a strange half naked woman was running around down stairs._

_Oh dear god!_

_That wasn't much better._

_Uncle Zan was down there._

_And the old hentai couldn't control him self when a sexy half naked woman was in the house._

_Oh well at least he had "Shiro" His beloved albino kitten could alert him if there was truly something to worry about._

"Any way Kaa-san wants to meet your "doll" too. So hurry up and get dressed."

_The girl turned to leave but the doll (Kenpachi) caught her arm._

She glared up at him "Did you need something Tarzan?"

Kenpachi grinned. "Couldn't see the resemblance at first but your chin, it's just like his."

_Karin narrowed her eyes at the large beast like looking "doll"_

"Don't compare me to that heartless prick!" with a snarl that was quite out of character, the girl yanked her arm back and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

_Ichigo wasn't quite sure what to make of the heated exchange between Kenpachi and Karin but he had a hunch it might have something to do with goat face._

_Bastard. Causing such drama even when he's not even here._

"See the temper runs in the family."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Kenpachi grinned "Better hop to it Twinkle B! Don't think we should keep the lady of the house waiting.

()()()()()()

_Out the door, down the stairs and out into the garden_.

_Was it really necessary for Kenpachi to carry him over the threshold?_

_Probably not but he certainly wasn't going to complain about it._

_()()()()()()()_

_It was pretty obvious that a large portion of the Ichigo's features came from his mother._

_Hair, long, soft and wavy and the color brass and copper toned. Eyes like honeycombs with specs of amber. Filled with warmth but slightly clouded by heartache._

_Kneeling over a patch of wild flowers in her peach creamed camisole and long off-white skirt._

_She stood up noticing the "doll" and her one and only son._

_Her smile was brighter than the sun itself._

"Ichigo."

_The orange haired male returned the smile and the "doll felt his heart melt just a little._

"Kaa-san."

_The woman's eyes fell upon the "doll". She put out her hand _

"I'm Masaki and you are?"

"Kenpachi."

"Nice to meet you Kenpachi. Ichigo isn't the most sociable person so you can imagine my delight when I learned of your arrival." She studied him for a moment "Have you know each other long?"

Kenpachi glanced at the youth who was currently engaged in a conversation with a white cat.

The cat (despite being a simple cat) seemed to understand Ichigo.

"Nah. Just met recently but I've heard a lot about you."

_This was not a lie._

_The "doll" had heard a great deal about the beautiful and talented Masaki._

_Isshin carried a picture of the woman in his wallet and always brought it out at least 3 times a day. Inside his office, the man had pasted a poster of the woman on the wall and would usually have long in depth conversations with the inanimate object._

"Oh?" the woman's eyes twinkled with mirth "All good things I hope?"

Kenpachi grinned "Only the best."

"I'm glad." She glanced down at her watch "Oh! I'm sorry to interrupt the middle of our conversation like this Kenpachi but I really must get going."

"It's not a problem. Being a single mother of three, of course you're gonna be busy."

"Yes well I should be back in a few hours. If you'd like you can join us for dinner? Possibly spend the night? We have plenty of room."

"Well I don't want to be a burden-"

"Don't be ridiculous. We've already invited Rangiku-chan to stay for the week, one more person isn't a problem."

_Ichigo caught the tail end of the conversation between Kenpachi and his mother._

_And wondered if this Rangiku-chan could be the other "doll"_

()()()()()()()

_Dressed? Right? _

_The woman's boobs were spilling out of her hot pink tank top. Her stockings were fishnet and her skirt (if you could even call it that) looked like underwear._

_It did not help that she appeared to have the evil glomp syndrome._

"Aren't you the cutest little strawberry?"

_Ichigo felt like he would die from suffocation._

_Luckily the assault didn't last long since Kenpachi dragged him away from the woman and back up the stairs._

_The orange haired male thought it was best to ignore the bulge in the "doll's" pants._

_()()()()()()()_

_To be pulled away from a daydream about his sexy pet was most unfair._

_There better be a damn good reason for it._

"What?"

"I can hear it."

"Hear what?"

"My twinkle fairy, I can hear him yelling."

_It was a damn good thing that the blue haired puss was known for having super sonic hearing otherwise Nnoitra would have taken his size 12 foot and kicked Grimm right in the face._

_Break his jaw. Watch in sadistic delight as blood gushed out._

"What do you mean you can hear MY pet yelling?"

"It's a cry for help."

"How can you be sure?"

"I just know."

"Hmm. Well it's a good thing we're headed that way then isn't it?"

"Yeah. Where the hell did Starrk and Shini run off to?"

"Convenience store. I'm all outta cigs."

"You coulda bummed one offa me."

"As if I'd want to touch anything of yours!"

"Whatever. Any way better tell those bastards to hurry up or I'm leaving."

Beady black eyes narrowed to slits.

"The hell you are. Ichi is MINE. If anyone is going to rescue em' it'll be ME."

()()()()()()()

_He just wanted a simple shower._

_That was all._

_It wasn't even a long one._

_Just a quick wash, lather and rinse._

_The horror!_

_The absolute horror!_

_That the orange haired male should enter his bedroom to find the "doll" rubbing himself against his favorite neon blue panther plushie._

_He nearly cried._

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

_The "doll" paid no mind to the screaming youth. He just continued on with his task._

"STOP!"

_The youth yelled again and quickly crossed the room and approached the man who was violating both his beloved panther plushie and his prized mattress._

"Give me that!"

_The "doll's" grin was wild and unfortunately for Ichigo, Kenpachi had misinterpreted his demand as something else._

_The plushie was tossed off the bed and before he could blink, Ichigo was flipped on to his stomach and the "doll" pulled his towel off._

_Damn it! Why hadn't he thought to put pants on before reentering his bedroom?_

_TBC_


End file.
